hiatus

got my period yesterday, as predicted, and went to the doctor this morning to see how my ovaries were looking and if we'd be able to start an IVF cycle. alas, one of my ovaries is still a bit out of whack. i have a cyst, which sounds awful but isn't likely threatening to my health. it is just from one of the follicles not doing what it was supposed to. here are some details about "functional cysts," via www.womenshealth.gov:

Follicle cysts: These cysts form when the sac doesn't break open to release the egg. Then the sac keeps growing. This type of cyst most often goes away in 1 to 3 months.

Corpus luteum cysts: These cysts form if the sac doesn't dissolve. Instead, the sac seals off after the egg is released. Then fluid builds up inside. Most of these cysts go away after a few weeks. They can grow to almost 4 inches. They may bleed or twist the ovary and cause pain. They are rarely cancerous. Some drugs used to cause ovulation, such as Clomid® or Serophene®, can raise the risk of getting these cysts.

regardless of what type i have, they won't do any kind of stimulation hormones or procedures this cycle because of this. not even IUI. they want my body to take a complete break over the next few weeks in hopes that the cyst will go away and things will regulate themselves. i am going back on december 8, which will be near the end of this cycle, to see how things look and make a decision about next cycle.

i was slightly disappointed to find out i wouldn't be able to do IVF again. but once i had a few minutes to think about it, i realized i am actually really relieved. with thanksgiving and choir performances and other fun things coming up these next couple weeks, it will be nice to not have to worry about giving myself injections or having numerous doctor appointments. but we'll have a really big decision to make if the doctor says i'm a go for trying IVF in my next cycle, because it would mean canceling some travel plans at the end of the month. then we have to weigh the costs... if we don't do another assisted cycle this calendar year, we lose our remaining insurance money. if we cancel trips, we lose money on airfare and possibly other reservation fees... and, well, our holidays will just suck a lot. is it worth it? i just don't know.

at this point, there's no guarantee of anything. who knows how long this cyst will stick around, or what else might be going on in my ovaries, or if they'll even respond properly if we try another stimulation cycle. so i'd rather take a step back and try to enjoy these next few weeks. heck, i could even have a glass of wine or seven. that sounds almost as nice as not having to stab myself for the foreseeable future. obviously the hubby and i will need to talk all of this over. he's the money man. but he also can appreciate how stressful this whole process has been for us. in any case, we've got a couple of weeks of peace. and i'm going to try my best to not think any further ahead than that.