guess what? i'm obsessing again.
i guess there's no way to escape it. ah, well.
the ovulation monitor started telling me this morning that i could get my period. i don't feel particularly pms-y. my cycles and symptoms have gotten so out of whack the past couple of months that i don't know what to expect in terms of number of days or how i will feel. my boobs are still sore and i have a dull aching head, but that could very easily be from starting my new job and having -- in direct correlation -- too much coffee and not enough sleep.
and yeah... i said i was giving up coffee when i thought i might be pregnant and i haven't stuck with it. ho hum. i also had a couple of drinks post-ovulation this month, which i haven't done in previous months. so with my luck, maybe this will be the month it happens and i'll be worried sick about having poisoned my baby. egads, this is a mind trip.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
cycle 6, day 21
it's been awhile.
obviously i wasn't pregnant last month, or i'd have had a lot more to say. my period came, again a bit earlier than i expected it. it seems that my cycles are getting shorter. which is lovely for TTC in some ways... less waiting time in between tries! but it makes me nervous that it's just a sign that i'm getting older... i know a lot of women begin to experience perimenopause symptoms in their early to mid-30s. this does NOT please me as i'm trying to conceive.
but i try not to worry about it. this month we didn't do a fantastic job, but considering i felt we'd done everything right last time around and it didn't happen, i suppose anything is possible. i was out of town just before i ovulated, and arrived back to the hubby right on the first day the monitor said i was ovulating. we tried that day, but sadly not on my second peak day. we did hit the day after that, so i guess if i ovulated near the end of the two-day window that was still a good effort.
now it's day 21 (very early on day 21, as it's 3:45 am and i can't sleep for some reason) and i'm starting to wonder. my boobs are a bit sore and i've been a little dizzy, but otherwise things seem normal. i am so unbelieveably stressed out by my living situation right now (we STILL can't move into what will be our floor of our new house due to delayed renovations) that i can't possibly figure out if anything that's going on is caused by something hormonal or just by my anxiety level. i am starting my new job this week (i really know how to lay on the stress, eh?) so hopefully i'll be wrapped up in that and not counting the days and taking unnecessary pregnancy tests like last time. i should get my period (or not!) by the end of the week...
obviously i wasn't pregnant last month, or i'd have had a lot more to say. my period came, again a bit earlier than i expected it. it seems that my cycles are getting shorter. which is lovely for TTC in some ways... less waiting time in between tries! but it makes me nervous that it's just a sign that i'm getting older... i know a lot of women begin to experience perimenopause symptoms in their early to mid-30s. this does NOT please me as i'm trying to conceive.
but i try not to worry about it. this month we didn't do a fantastic job, but considering i felt we'd done everything right last time around and it didn't happen, i suppose anything is possible. i was out of town just before i ovulated, and arrived back to the hubby right on the first day the monitor said i was ovulating. we tried that day, but sadly not on my second peak day. we did hit the day after that, so i guess if i ovulated near the end of the two-day window that was still a good effort.
now it's day 21 (very early on day 21, as it's 3:45 am and i can't sleep for some reason) and i'm starting to wonder. my boobs are a bit sore and i've been a little dizzy, but otherwise things seem normal. i am so unbelieveably stressed out by my living situation right now (we STILL can't move into what will be our floor of our new house due to delayed renovations) that i can't possibly figure out if anything that's going on is caused by something hormonal or just by my anxiety level. i am starting my new job this week (i really know how to lay on the stress, eh?) so hopefully i'll be wrapped up in that and not counting the days and taking unnecessary pregnancy tests like last time. i should get my period (or not!) by the end of the week...
Sunday, August 8, 2010
cycle 5, day 24
once again this month i had a lot to distract me from the waiting game... i've been totally consumed with getting settled in our new house. we have a lot to do and a long time before the house won't be our big project, but it's all so very exciting. and it does, in the back of my mind, make hoping that i'm pregnant even more wonderful, as it's just better to imagine having a baby and an eventual kid when i'm living in a place where we can actually go outside and live in more than 600 square feet.
it's pretty incredible.
and yet here we are in the midst of the final countdown of cycle 5 of TTC. it's our last true summer attempt... if i'm not pregnant this time, our next try will be the week i go back to work. which isn't ideal. i know i'm going to be upset if this cycle has been another bust, but i don't think i'm at the point of despair... yet.
so today's day 24 (14 days post-ovulation), which means in a normal short cycle month (as it seems this will be, given the ovulation monitor said days 9 and 10 were my peak days) i should get my period in two days -- on tuesday. i have felt totally normal until the past couple of days, when i've started having symptoms of something going on down there.
on friday (day 21, 12 dpo) i had a 24-hour headache. nothing helped. i also felt a bit dizzy and light-headed. but again, these can always be pre-period symptoms, too... though this headache was worse than my typical "here comes the period!" headache, and also a little early.
day 22 i stupidly took a pregnancy test (WHEN will i stop throwing money down the toilet on these things???), which was negative but had a few spots and speckles above the center line, which i've never seen before. i've also had a lot of discharge, not typical of this part of my cycle.
then yesterday (day 23, 13 dpo) i had a small amount of what looked like dark blood. a few months ago i would have been convinced this was implantation bleeding, but a similar thing happened to me a couple of months ago (a bit earlier in the cycle, though) and i clearly wasn't pregnant. so.
in general i just feel like there's something brewing, which could be my period, but maybe not. usually i don't have much (if any) PMS in my short-cycle months, and i don't exactly feel like my period's coming. i just feel a bit... weird. i'll try to keep myself distracted for the next couple of days...
it's pretty incredible.
and yet here we are in the midst of the final countdown of cycle 5 of TTC. it's our last true summer attempt... if i'm not pregnant this time, our next try will be the week i go back to work. which isn't ideal. i know i'm going to be upset if this cycle has been another bust, but i don't think i'm at the point of despair... yet.
so today's day 24 (14 days post-ovulation), which means in a normal short cycle month (as it seems this will be, given the ovulation monitor said days 9 and 10 were my peak days) i should get my period in two days -- on tuesday. i have felt totally normal until the past couple of days, when i've started having symptoms of something going on down there.
on friday (day 21, 12 dpo) i had a 24-hour headache. nothing helped. i also felt a bit dizzy and light-headed. but again, these can always be pre-period symptoms, too... though this headache was worse than my typical "here comes the period!" headache, and also a little early.
day 22 i stupidly took a pregnancy test (WHEN will i stop throwing money down the toilet on these things???), which was negative but had a few spots and speckles above the center line, which i've never seen before. i've also had a lot of discharge, not typical of this part of my cycle.
then yesterday (day 23, 13 dpo) i had a small amount of what looked like dark blood. a few months ago i would have been convinced this was implantation bleeding, but a similar thing happened to me a couple of months ago (a bit earlier in the cycle, though) and i clearly wasn't pregnant. so.
in general i just feel like there's something brewing, which could be my period, but maybe not. usually i don't have much (if any) PMS in my short-cycle months, and i don't exactly feel like my period's coming. i just feel a bit... weird. i'll try to keep myself distracted for the next couple of days...
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