it has been two months since my baby was born (ten weeks today, actually) and the biggest lesson i have learned so far is not to get used to anything. good or bad. this is both intimidating and exhilarating, depending on the day. for example, our first few weeks of effortless sleep seem to have been a fleeting thing, which sucks. however, the baby refusing to sleep during the day and making himself crazy out of overtiredness at night was also a passing phase. so now i am trying to go with the flow and take things -- literally -- one day and one night at a time. because chances are the next one will be different. i'm not sure how long this complete lack of consistency lasts... but i'm trying not to worry about that now, either.
it was sleep, though, that led me to this grand understanding in the first place. after a battle for a couple of weeks to try to get the baby to go to sleep earlier, i have finally given up. since he was born he's been sleeping roughly from 11pm until 10am (waking up to nurse, of course). we were letting him fall asleep whenever, mostly in the living room as we were watching TV, and putting him in the bassinet whenever we went to bed. he slept very well and i wasn't worried about it in the least. then i started reading about sleep and listening to professional advice. i'm not saying you shouldn't ever listen to other people's theories about babies, but i did not realize at that point that you really need to take it all as recommendations based on SOME babies, SOME families, and SOME beliefs... none of which are necessarily applicable to your own baby.
after reading and listening too much and doubting myself, i got concerned that he was awake so late, since some experts insist that babies are wired to go to sleep around 7pm! "they" also say that babies need a bedtime routine: an hour of quiet, calm before sleeping, etc., in order to sleep soundly. some people insist that even at this baby's young age, the routines we were getting him into (which, remember, are reportedly terrible) would stick and be difficult to fix later on. so we tried -- horribly unsuccessfully -- to implement a routine and adjust his schedule for a week or so and i ended up crying and convincing myself that he was now a terrible sleeper and we were in for months of frustration. when he screamed and wouldn't sleep in the bassinet i ended up bringing him into our bed and nursing him to sleep, which -- according to experts -- was the absolute worst thing i could do to establish a sleep routine.
but when i finally took a step back, i realized that he was still falling asleep at the same time he had always been. he just screamed and cried when i tried to make him "go to bed" earlier than that. eventually, by 11pm, nearly every night he was sound asleep. and even without a routine and with going to bed so late, he was still sleeping well and i had no concerns about him being rested during the day. what we had been doing before was working, and wanting to make all these changes was just me not trusting my instincts. my pediatrician had freaked me out about forming habits that we'd have to fix later, even though my understanding and belief has always been that you can't really institute any habits or routines before babies are four months old. so i've let all of the worry go for now. he does often get fussy in the evenings before he falls asleep, and i realize that he is probably tired but doesn't want to go to sleep. however, i'm still not going to force him to go to sleep before he's ready... because i've seen that it just doesn't work. he'll sleep when he's ready. and he does! perfectly happily and soundly in his bassinet. he's also gotten much better about napping during the day, which helps his night sleep, too. this is an area that i've had to be more proactive about: i need to insure that he has the opportunity to nap and that i enforce it. but when i do, he does. pretty much without fail.
so right now the baby is quite lovely to be around most of the time. which is pretty awesome. everything would be perfect if he would just freakin' take a bottle. this is my current battle. and it IS one that i need to work on, because unlike some moms i need to go back to work. i also would like to be able to go out and leave him with a babysitter once in awhile, without it turning into the complete disaster we experienced two weeks ago when we had to go to a wedding and left him with my good friend. he refused to take a bottle and screamed for two hours, totally stressing out my friend and upsetting me so much i had a very difficult time enjoying myself at the wedding and not immediately coming home to the Boob Rescue.
he was taking a bottle a few weeks ago, but like i said... everything changes. for some reason the past few weeks he is not a fan. i've done some research and it turns out that some babies are extraordinarily picky about their bottles and, mostly, nipples. i watch him when the hubby is trying to get him to take a bottle, and i can see that he's trying to latch on like he does on the breast, and it just doesn't work with a lot of bottle nipple designs. so we are now embarking upon an experimentation process that will hopefully lead us to the magic cure-all for his hatred of bottle feeding. i will update when there's progress, but this is where we're at so far:
Philips Avent - these are the bottles i registered for after a ton of research. now i have a bunch of both the small and large sizes, and my baby seems to hate them.
Lansinoh Momma - i got one of these for free with something else i bought and tried it on a whim when he wouldn't take the Avent bottle. this was actually the bottle that he did take for a couple of weeks. now he seems to hate it, but i will keep trying just in case he changes his mind.
Tommee Tippee - i just ordered these. the word around our neighborhood is that these are the best for babies who go back and forth between breast and bottle.
Playex drop ins - i also just ordered these. they go on those old school bottles with the liners that you drop in already filled with milk. i swear they're what babies in the 70s and 80s used, but apparently they're still considered good -- especially for transitioning babies from breast to bottle.
mimijumi - i also just ordered these after reading some online reviews. as you can see, they really look like a breast, and the nipple is supposed to be very soft as well.
one baby mission at a time seems to be enough, right? so we'll work on this, and we'll worry about the other stuff later. if it's even still around to be worried about and hasn't completely changed by then...
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
seven weeks: smiles, sleep struggles, and saying goodbye to huggies (mostly)
at our two week visit to the pediatrician, she drew us a little timeline to show us the trajectory of the first 8 weeks. i remember that arrow arcing upwards towards the happy face at 8 weeks. i am thinking a lot about that arrow and that happy face lately and really hoping that she was right.
it's been a challenging week. i thought, honestly, that the first six weeks were supposed to be the toughest. for us that wasn't the case, except for a couple of bad days/nights mixed in there. but at six and a half weeks, the tide began to turn. it's been both a blessing and a curse in many ways. the baby is so delightful to be around now... when he's happy. the days of him being just a lump of baby are mostly over, except when he's milk-drunk or half asleep. he smiles at us and makes eye contact, he looks at toys and people and reacts to things he hears and sees. we actually feel like he's interacting with us, which is amazing. but on the other hand, all of this excitement complicates his life. a lot. he gets overstimulated if we don't watch out and make sure things are happening at an appropriate speed for him, and he does not like to sleep anymore. both of these things lead to a lot of screaming and crying, by both baby and mama. (daddy seems to be handling things in stride and hasn't even lost his cool yet, which also infuriates mama.)
when we finally figured out (after a couple of tough nights) that he just wasn't getting enough sleep, we thought it would be an easy fix. at his age he should still be getting 14-15 hours of sleep in each 24 hour day. so we decided to put him in bed earlier at night and also to make sure he was napping during the day. both of these solutions are smart, but have been harder than we imagined. we put him to bed earlier, but he mostly screams and still doesn't fall asleep for an hour or more. and he has now started rebelling against every daytime nap strategy i have. going for a walk with him in the carrier used to be a magic trick. now sometimes he doesn't sleep at all in the carrier, he just looks around. at best he'll sleep half the time we're out. and forget sleeping in the stroller. he's done with that. in the house, his little chairs and the sling are shots in the dark at this point. sometimes he'll sleep there. other times he just screams. he is happy if he's being held or sitting in our laps, and occasionally he'll fall asleep there... but not often.
it is really hard. but we're doing our best and just telling ourselves it's (probably) just a phase. or a growth spurt. or something.
in the meantime, as if i didn't already have my hands full, i decided to ease into cloth diapers. i'm going to write a separate post about that. but suffice to say i think i'm still committed to them, but i think i'm crazy.
on a good note, i am still managing to shower every other day at least, and even though the sleep stuff has been difficult, i am still getting a reasonable amount of sleep every night. i cannot imagine if i had had to go back to work after six weeks like so many women do. i would most definitely NOT be getting enough sleep if that were the case, and i would probably be certifiably insane or drunk most of the time. so i count my blessings that i am able both financially and because of my awesome emplyer to take the extra time off. because this baby stuff is more than a full time job, let me tell you.
it's been a challenging week. i thought, honestly, that the first six weeks were supposed to be the toughest. for us that wasn't the case, except for a couple of bad days/nights mixed in there. but at six and a half weeks, the tide began to turn. it's been both a blessing and a curse in many ways. the baby is so delightful to be around now... when he's happy. the days of him being just a lump of baby are mostly over, except when he's milk-drunk or half asleep. he smiles at us and makes eye contact, he looks at toys and people and reacts to things he hears and sees. we actually feel like he's interacting with us, which is amazing. but on the other hand, all of this excitement complicates his life. a lot. he gets overstimulated if we don't watch out and make sure things are happening at an appropriate speed for him, and he does not like to sleep anymore. both of these things lead to a lot of screaming and crying, by both baby and mama. (daddy seems to be handling things in stride and hasn't even lost his cool yet, which also infuriates mama.)
when we finally figured out (after a couple of tough nights) that he just wasn't getting enough sleep, we thought it would be an easy fix. at his age he should still be getting 14-15 hours of sleep in each 24 hour day. so we decided to put him in bed earlier at night and also to make sure he was napping during the day. both of these solutions are smart, but have been harder than we imagined. we put him to bed earlier, but he mostly screams and still doesn't fall asleep for an hour or more. and he has now started rebelling against every daytime nap strategy i have. going for a walk with him in the carrier used to be a magic trick. now sometimes he doesn't sleep at all in the carrier, he just looks around. at best he'll sleep half the time we're out. and forget sleeping in the stroller. he's done with that. in the house, his little chairs and the sling are shots in the dark at this point. sometimes he'll sleep there. other times he just screams. he is happy if he's being held or sitting in our laps, and occasionally he'll fall asleep there... but not often.
it is really hard. but we're doing our best and just telling ourselves it's (probably) just a phase. or a growth spurt. or something.
in the meantime, as if i didn't already have my hands full, i decided to ease into cloth diapers. i'm going to write a separate post about that. but suffice to say i think i'm still committed to them, but i think i'm crazy.
on a good note, i am still managing to shower every other day at least, and even though the sleep stuff has been difficult, i am still getting a reasonable amount of sleep every night. i cannot imagine if i had had to go back to work after six weeks like so many women do. i would most definitely NOT be getting enough sleep if that were the case, and i would probably be certifiably insane or drunk most of the time. so i count my blessings that i am able both financially and because of my awesome emplyer to take the extra time off. because this baby stuff is more than a full time job, let me tell you.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Gear
now that i am a parent with a whopping five weeks of experience to draw upon, i can reflect on the baby gear that we acquired (and didn't) for this newborn and hopefully offer some insight to other prospective parents. as everyone knows, the baby industrial complex is enormous, and every store and magazine and website would lead you to believe that you need every single item that comes out of baby gear factories in order to be a successful parent. i knew this wasn't true, and i intend to document my findings throughout this process.
STROLLERS
here's my biggest regret so far. i followed the beaten path when it came to strollers and didn't really do any of my own thinking/research. for some reason i trusted the six zillion other parents in my yuppie neighborhood and got what EVERYONE has: a snap & go carseat/stroller system for the newborn, and a regular stroller for when he's six months or so and older. (the city mini, obviously, which is the stroller of choice in our neighborhood.)
so here's the thing: the snap & go system is not made for real stroller usage. i can see if you're a suburbanite and just need something to wheel around target or use on vacation or whatever. but this thing is not cut out for living the city life. the shocks are terrible. it barely makes turns around regular street corners. it SUCKS. i feel like i'm giving my baby a concussion every time i use it. the ONLY advantage i can see to having this system is if you want to be able to carry a sleeping baby in the car seat from car/house to "stroller" to another destination or back home again. this, honestly, is what i envisioned when i registered for it: we'd go out to dinner at a tiny restaurant or over to a friend's house and want to leave the baby in the car seat and fold up the stroller base and put it aside. not only hasn't this happened, i don't see that it ever will. i nearly always use a baby carrier when i take him out right now. it's much easier than dealing with the stroller. when he gets bigger this might change... but by then he will have most likely outgrown the infant car seat and stroller system anyway! i wish we'd just gotten the car seat (required by law and we'll need it for trips/rental cars anyway) and the city mini.
one more tip about that -- people will tell you that in order to use the city mini with an infant who can't hold his head up that you need to buy a $60 adapter that allows you to put the car seat on the city mini like you would on the snap & go frame. my research has shown me that this is also unnecessary (unless you really want to keep the baby in the car seat, like i said before. i do not.). the city mini's seat reclines so far back that you can lay a newborn down inside totally safely. and, if you really want to amp up the support, you can simply buy one of these cozy things for added security. i just ordered that yesterday and we will be switching to the city mini for our stroller needs as soon as i get it in the mail.
UPDATE: 12/5/2012 we received the Snuzzler and have used it successfully with the citi mini. the babe seems to love being able to see what's happening around him on our walks, and i love that the stroller can actually navigate city streets. we even took it off-roading in the park yesterday.
UPDATE: 5/24/2013 the babe is 7.5 months old now and we are still loving the city mini, though personally it's not my transportation mode of choice (i'm really partial to the Ergo carrier... more below). we've folded it up in order to travel by bus/subway only a couple of times, and that is not a lot of fun (nor is it really possible for one person to do without serious annoyance). we will be investing in a lightweight umbrella stroller for this purpose. (possibly the uppa baby g-lite, which is well-reviewed by other moms in my neighborhood.)
CHANGING TABLE
we have a small apartment and didn't want a uni-tasker piece of furniture, so we got a dresser that is the appropriate height for the baby to be changed on top of it. we put the changing pad on top and voila -- changing table. it's perfect. also -- we don't use a cover on the changing pad. ever. what a freakin' silly thing to do unless you're a person who likes doing laundry even more than i do. he pees and poops all over the changing pad every time we change him, so i just put a cloth diaper under him and throw that in the wash when needed. the changing pad is waterproof and wipes clean in two seconds. i wouldn't do it any other way.
UPDATE: 5/24/2013 i still wouldn't alter our changing table method, but over the past month or so the changing pad has started acquiring some small tears. no big deal, especially since we cover it with prefold diapers for the babe to lay on -- and because they cost all of $15 if we want to replace it -- but i did want to note that.
DIAPER GENIE
didn't get it and glad we didn't. totally unnecessary. we have a small trash can with a foot-operated lid next to the "changing table" and it's perfect.
BABY CARRIERS
as i said above, i am using a baby carrier far more often than a stroller right now. i plan to continue this trend as much as i can, because dealing with strollers seems really annoying... both for the person using it and the people around her. there are a zillion carriers out there and from what i can tell so far it's a personal decision for mom/dad and baby what works well. and who knows -- it may change as baby gets bigger.
- i am obsessed with my ergo. there is an infant insert that you can buy to use the ergo with a newborn, but i read reviews online and didn't buy it and i'm glad i didn't. seems totally unnecessary to me. instead, i just bundle the baby up in a blanket and stick him inside, and it works perfectly. now, if you have a smaller baby this might not be as effective. but with my big boy who can sort of already hold his head up, it's just fine.
- i also inherited a new native baby sling, which is also great. i mostly use this around the house. i took him out in it once and -- it might be a coincidence -- he got super fussy after a couple hours. i think the position he was in might not be super comfy for long. but inside i've manipulated him in a bunch of different positions and he seems to like it.
UPDATE: 12/5/2012 i'm a bit confused about the sizing of the new native sling. as the baby gets bigger, he just seems totally cramped in there. so i bought a different kind of sling, a "ring sling," because i was enjoying that option especially in the house and people talked about liking the ring variety. the maya wrap is the most popular, but is stupid expensive, so i bought the lite on shoulder sling instead. so far i've had a tough time figuring out how to manipulate it, but there are a lot of videos online that i am perusing in my spare time (ha) and i am hopeful that this will be another carrier in our rotation. he has slept in it several times when i've been doing dishes or eating dinner or something, which is lovely. (he has also screamed and totally freaked out other times i've attempted to put him in it. so.)
- i have tried mostly unsuccessfully to use the moby wrap, which i also got from a friend. i want to use it and love it, i really do. we'll see if that happens.
- we were given a baby bjorn that we've never even tried to use. seems way too complicated to me.
UPDATE: 5/24/2013 we are primarily an Ergo family. nothing else has really worked for us, but we love the Ergo so much. we used it exclusively on a ten day trip to paris. i can't say enough good about it. i've done a lot of reading about the benefits of having the baby facing your body rather than facing outwards -- which was a big reason i wanted a different kind of carrier for awhile -- and it makes sense to me to stick with the Ergo.
CHAIRS/SWINGS
we didn't register for anything in this category because of our small apartment problem. i figured if we ended up with a baby who seemed to need something of this nature that we'd worry about it then. a friend gave me a bumbo seat, which can't be used until he can hold his head up, so i'll update on that at a later date. but she also gave us a vibrating rocking chair, similar to this. THAT has been a godsend and i'm actually not sure what i thought we'd be doing with the baby all the time when i imagined not having anything like this around. we don't use the vibrating feature. in fact, it doesn't even have batteries in it for that or the sound. but he sits in it, and we rock him, and sometimes he falls asleep in it and other times he just chills out and looks around. it's great. i love it. when he gets bigger he can rock it himself (he does that accidentally sometimes right now and it's pretty funny), and it can also be converted to different reclining angles and to a non-rocking chair by adjusting the legs. so glad we have this. highly recommended.
we don't have a swing. he would probably like one, but he's doing just fine without it.
UPDATE: 5/24/2013 i would like to state again how incredibly dumb i was to think we didn't need a little chair/rocker for the babe. we have since purchased a new infant-to-toddler rocker so we could take the older one to my parents' house and have the new one at home. as he's getting bigger it's even more useful to have a spot for him to chill out. we need to buckle him in now so he doesn't topple out (we never did when he was smaller) but he loves his little chair, and it should fit him until he's a toddler when he can sit in it like a normal chair and put his feet on the floor. LOVE it.
EXERSAUCERS, ETC.
we didn't register for anything like this and i wasn't sure what, if anything, along these lines we would get. when the babe was around four months old i knew we needed something other than the little chair (see above) because he needed to be able to sit up and use his legs. after a ton of research, i chose the fisher price step & play piano because a) it's musical, which i love; and b) it's convertible as they get older. before the baby can stand or walk, there's a little seat for him to sit in, spin around in, and play with the toys. then you can take the seat out so he can practice standing and, eventually, walking. toddlers can (and do) still play with it because it's accessible once you're walking (i've seen this with little visitors to our house). the babe LOVES it and i know we'll get lots more use out of it.
however, the one disadvantage to this over other exersaucers is the lack of a jumper feature. i didn't realize how much he wanted to jump until we took him to a friend's house and he spent a good half an hour wide-eyed, laughing and jumping in their little exersaucer/jumper. so when he was about six months old we ordered this graco doorway jumper. he really, really, really loves jumping, and i've seen such a difference in the strength and stability in his legs since we got it. so all in all, right now (he's 7 months old) we have three "stations" that he spends time in: his little rocker/chair, his musical chair, and his jumper. all three offer different advantages and the combination gives him varied positions and experiences throughout the day. now that he's sitting up on his own, we also just plop him on the floor on a blanket and give him some toys, which works. or he sits on the couch with us... though that will change whenever he starts crawling.
BASSINET
we got the arm's reach co-sleeper bassinet, which is another one of those things that everyone in this city seems to have gotten. we bought it used for half the price, which was key since you only use it for a few months. it's working out spectacularly for us. he sleeps in it every night and i love that it attaches to the bed and that he's sleeping right next to me without actually being in the bed. i know people who never used it... not sure what they did instead. this thing rocks.
SWADDLES
i have swaddled other babies using regular swaddling blankets. we got a few of them. but what we've actually been using for this seemingly exceptionally squirmy and strong baby of ours are the velcro variety. Summer Infant and Kiddopotamus both make good ones. i got a whole bunch of hand-me-downs from friends and didn't think i'd use them, but it's all we use and we use them EVERY night. it's the only way he'll sleep in the bassinet. fantastic invention, let me tell you. we also have some sleep sacks, but haven't used those yet.
UPDATE: 12/5/2012 we've now used the sleep sack a couple of times, mostly because he has been busting out of the small size velcro swaddle and isn't big enough yet for the next size up. however, the sleep sack is also a bit large (small size fits 3-6 months; he wears some 3mo size but not all) and this is actually a serious safety hazard, i learned. because it's two separate pieces (the sack and the wrap that swaddles his arms) when he wiggles his arms enough, he can push the wrap up and over his face. i woke up hearing him fussing and turned in horror to see that his entire face was covered by the fabric! obviously he did not suffocate and it wasn't tight enough to do so, probably, but it was enough for me not to put this back on him until i'm sure it really fits. or never again, possibly.
UPDATE: 5/24/2013 we stopped swaddling the babe when he was around three months old. it seemed to be frustrating him more than it was helping at that point and he's been fine ever since.
PACIFIERS
i don't believe in forcing every baby to use a pacifier, but i knew that some babies are really comforted by them. i bought a few different kinds because i read that different babies have different preferences, and the only one he will use right now is the phillips avent "soothie." some days he loves it, other days he wants nothing to do with it. i'm glad we have it on hand as a trick up our sleeve.
UPDATE: he's now mostly using the same type of pacifier, but one that's attached to a stuffed animal; this one, in particular. i thought it was just a cute gimmick but the weight of the animal actually helps keep it in his mouth, especially when he's laying on his back in his bassinet. he has also started to try to grab the stuffed animal to hold it in his mouth himself, which isn't totally successful yet but shows initiative.
UPDATE: 5/24/2013 before he was four months old, pacifier use was inconsistent. sometimes it calmed him down, sometimes not. it wasn't an every day thing and i actually thought it wouldn't become part of our regular routine. but when i went back to work, our nanny used it as a sleep strategy and it has worked wonders in getting the babe into a nap and nighttime sleep routine. that's the only time he uses a pacifier -- i don't want it to become a habit outside of sleep and it helps for him to associate it with sleepytime. sometimes he falls asleep quickly without it, but a lot of the time we pop it into his mouth, he sucks for a few minutes, falls asleep, and it falls out. the end. oh, and the animal pacifier became more annoying once he really started paying attention to (and getting distracted by) everything -- around five months.
BURP CLOTHS
i am of the opinion that you cannot have too many burp cloths with a baby around, particularly if you are breastfeeding. i like to have at least one in every room of the house, plus many extras to replace those when they get nasty (which happens multiple times per day). i have a few different kinds but recently go these aden & anais "burpy bibs" given to me and they are phenomenal. i want to replace all my other ones with these. they are exactly the right size, shape, material, and weight to just throw over your shoulder or tuck into the front of your top when nursing without any hassle. plus they have little snaps on the edges so you can use them for full wrap-around bibs. they are genius. i can't say enough about them. they might be my favorite baby thing of all. well, other than the baby.
that's all the gear we're using right now. i will update this post over time as i glean any other knowledge about the myriad things we have filling up the baby's room...
STROLLERS
here's my biggest regret so far. i followed the beaten path when it came to strollers and didn't really do any of my own thinking/research. for some reason i trusted the six zillion other parents in my yuppie neighborhood and got what EVERYONE has: a snap & go carseat/stroller system for the newborn, and a regular stroller for when he's six months or so and older. (the city mini, obviously, which is the stroller of choice in our neighborhood.)
so here's the thing: the snap & go system is not made for real stroller usage. i can see if you're a suburbanite and just need something to wheel around target or use on vacation or whatever. but this thing is not cut out for living the city life. the shocks are terrible. it barely makes turns around regular street corners. it SUCKS. i feel like i'm giving my baby a concussion every time i use it. the ONLY advantage i can see to having this system is if you want to be able to carry a sleeping baby in the car seat from car/house to "stroller" to another destination or back home again. this, honestly, is what i envisioned when i registered for it: we'd go out to dinner at a tiny restaurant or over to a friend's house and want to leave the baby in the car seat and fold up the stroller base and put it aside. not only hasn't this happened, i don't see that it ever will. i nearly always use a baby carrier when i take him out right now. it's much easier than dealing with the stroller. when he gets bigger this might change... but by then he will have most likely outgrown the infant car seat and stroller system anyway! i wish we'd just gotten the car seat (required by law and we'll need it for trips/rental cars anyway) and the city mini.
one more tip about that -- people will tell you that in order to use the city mini with an infant who can't hold his head up that you need to buy a $60 adapter that allows you to put the car seat on the city mini like you would on the snap & go frame. my research has shown me that this is also unnecessary (unless you really want to keep the baby in the car seat, like i said before. i do not.). the city mini's seat reclines so far back that you can lay a newborn down inside totally safely. and, if you really want to amp up the support, you can simply buy one of these cozy things for added security. i just ordered that yesterday and we will be switching to the city mini for our stroller needs as soon as i get it in the mail.
UPDATE: 12/5/2012 we received the Snuzzler and have used it successfully with the citi mini. the babe seems to love being able to see what's happening around him on our walks, and i love that the stroller can actually navigate city streets. we even took it off-roading in the park yesterday.
UPDATE: 5/24/2013 the babe is 7.5 months old now and we are still loving the city mini, though personally it's not my transportation mode of choice (i'm really partial to the Ergo carrier... more below). we've folded it up in order to travel by bus/subway only a couple of times, and that is not a lot of fun (nor is it really possible for one person to do without serious annoyance). we will be investing in a lightweight umbrella stroller for this purpose. (possibly the uppa baby g-lite, which is well-reviewed by other moms in my neighborhood.)
CHANGING TABLE
we have a small apartment and didn't want a uni-tasker piece of furniture, so we got a dresser that is the appropriate height for the baby to be changed on top of it. we put the changing pad on top and voila -- changing table. it's perfect. also -- we don't use a cover on the changing pad. ever. what a freakin' silly thing to do unless you're a person who likes doing laundry even more than i do. he pees and poops all over the changing pad every time we change him, so i just put a cloth diaper under him and throw that in the wash when needed. the changing pad is waterproof and wipes clean in two seconds. i wouldn't do it any other way.
UPDATE: 5/24/2013 i still wouldn't alter our changing table method, but over the past month or so the changing pad has started acquiring some small tears. no big deal, especially since we cover it with prefold diapers for the babe to lay on -- and because they cost all of $15 if we want to replace it -- but i did want to note that.
DIAPER GENIE
didn't get it and glad we didn't. totally unnecessary. we have a small trash can with a foot-operated lid next to the "changing table" and it's perfect.
BABY CARRIERS
as i said above, i am using a baby carrier far more often than a stroller right now. i plan to continue this trend as much as i can, because dealing with strollers seems really annoying... both for the person using it and the people around her. there are a zillion carriers out there and from what i can tell so far it's a personal decision for mom/dad and baby what works well. and who knows -- it may change as baby gets bigger.
- i am obsessed with my ergo. there is an infant insert that you can buy to use the ergo with a newborn, but i read reviews online and didn't buy it and i'm glad i didn't. seems totally unnecessary to me. instead, i just bundle the baby up in a blanket and stick him inside, and it works perfectly. now, if you have a smaller baby this might not be as effective. but with my big boy who can sort of already hold his head up, it's just fine.
- i also inherited a new native baby sling, which is also great. i mostly use this around the house. i took him out in it once and -- it might be a coincidence -- he got super fussy after a couple hours. i think the position he was in might not be super comfy for long. but inside i've manipulated him in a bunch of different positions and he seems to like it.
UPDATE: 12/5/2012 i'm a bit confused about the sizing of the new native sling. as the baby gets bigger, he just seems totally cramped in there. so i bought a different kind of sling, a "ring sling," because i was enjoying that option especially in the house and people talked about liking the ring variety. the maya wrap is the most popular, but is stupid expensive, so i bought the lite on shoulder sling instead. so far i've had a tough time figuring out how to manipulate it, but there are a lot of videos online that i am perusing in my spare time (ha) and i am hopeful that this will be another carrier in our rotation. he has slept in it several times when i've been doing dishes or eating dinner or something, which is lovely. (he has also screamed and totally freaked out other times i've attempted to put him in it. so.)
- i have tried mostly unsuccessfully to use the moby wrap, which i also got from a friend. i want to use it and love it, i really do. we'll see if that happens.
- we were given a baby bjorn that we've never even tried to use. seems way too complicated to me.
UPDATE: 5/24/2013 we are primarily an Ergo family. nothing else has really worked for us, but we love the Ergo so much. we used it exclusively on a ten day trip to paris. i can't say enough good about it. i've done a lot of reading about the benefits of having the baby facing your body rather than facing outwards -- which was a big reason i wanted a different kind of carrier for awhile -- and it makes sense to me to stick with the Ergo.
CHAIRS/SWINGS
we didn't register for anything in this category because of our small apartment problem. i figured if we ended up with a baby who seemed to need something of this nature that we'd worry about it then. a friend gave me a bumbo seat, which can't be used until he can hold his head up, so i'll update on that at a later date. but she also gave us a vibrating rocking chair, similar to this. THAT has been a godsend and i'm actually not sure what i thought we'd be doing with the baby all the time when i imagined not having anything like this around. we don't use the vibrating feature. in fact, it doesn't even have batteries in it for that or the sound. but he sits in it, and we rock him, and sometimes he falls asleep in it and other times he just chills out and looks around. it's great. i love it. when he gets bigger he can rock it himself (he does that accidentally sometimes right now and it's pretty funny), and it can also be converted to different reclining angles and to a non-rocking chair by adjusting the legs. so glad we have this. highly recommended.
we don't have a swing. he would probably like one, but he's doing just fine without it.
UPDATE: 5/24/2013 i would like to state again how incredibly dumb i was to think we didn't need a little chair/rocker for the babe. we have since purchased a new infant-to-toddler rocker so we could take the older one to my parents' house and have the new one at home. as he's getting bigger it's even more useful to have a spot for him to chill out. we need to buckle him in now so he doesn't topple out (we never did when he was smaller) but he loves his little chair, and it should fit him until he's a toddler when he can sit in it like a normal chair and put his feet on the floor. LOVE it.
EXERSAUCERS, ETC.
we didn't register for anything like this and i wasn't sure what, if anything, along these lines we would get. when the babe was around four months old i knew we needed something other than the little chair (see above) because he needed to be able to sit up and use his legs. after a ton of research, i chose the fisher price step & play piano because a) it's musical, which i love; and b) it's convertible as they get older. before the baby can stand or walk, there's a little seat for him to sit in, spin around in, and play with the toys. then you can take the seat out so he can practice standing and, eventually, walking. toddlers can (and do) still play with it because it's accessible once you're walking (i've seen this with little visitors to our house). the babe LOVES it and i know we'll get lots more use out of it.
however, the one disadvantage to this over other exersaucers is the lack of a jumper feature. i didn't realize how much he wanted to jump until we took him to a friend's house and he spent a good half an hour wide-eyed, laughing and jumping in their little exersaucer/jumper. so when he was about six months old we ordered this graco doorway jumper. he really, really, really loves jumping, and i've seen such a difference in the strength and stability in his legs since we got it. so all in all, right now (he's 7 months old) we have three "stations" that he spends time in: his little rocker/chair, his musical chair, and his jumper. all three offer different advantages and the combination gives him varied positions and experiences throughout the day. now that he's sitting up on his own, we also just plop him on the floor on a blanket and give him some toys, which works. or he sits on the couch with us... though that will change whenever he starts crawling.
BASSINET
we got the arm's reach co-sleeper bassinet, which is another one of those things that everyone in this city seems to have gotten. we bought it used for half the price, which was key since you only use it for a few months. it's working out spectacularly for us. he sleeps in it every night and i love that it attaches to the bed and that he's sleeping right next to me without actually being in the bed. i know people who never used it... not sure what they did instead. this thing rocks.
SWADDLES
i have swaddled other babies using regular swaddling blankets. we got a few of them. but what we've actually been using for this seemingly exceptionally squirmy and strong baby of ours are the velcro variety. Summer Infant and Kiddopotamus both make good ones. i got a whole bunch of hand-me-downs from friends and didn't think i'd use them, but it's all we use and we use them EVERY night. it's the only way he'll sleep in the bassinet. fantastic invention, let me tell you. we also have some sleep sacks, but haven't used those yet.
UPDATE: 12/5/2012 we've now used the sleep sack a couple of times, mostly because he has been busting out of the small size velcro swaddle and isn't big enough yet for the next size up. however, the sleep sack is also a bit large (small size fits 3-6 months; he wears some 3mo size but not all) and this is actually a serious safety hazard, i learned. because it's two separate pieces (the sack and the wrap that swaddles his arms) when he wiggles his arms enough, he can push the wrap up and over his face. i woke up hearing him fussing and turned in horror to see that his entire face was covered by the fabric! obviously he did not suffocate and it wasn't tight enough to do so, probably, but it was enough for me not to put this back on him until i'm sure it really fits. or never again, possibly.
UPDATE: 5/24/2013 we stopped swaddling the babe when he was around three months old. it seemed to be frustrating him more than it was helping at that point and he's been fine ever since.
PACIFIERS
i don't believe in forcing every baby to use a pacifier, but i knew that some babies are really comforted by them. i bought a few different kinds because i read that different babies have different preferences, and the only one he will use right now is the phillips avent "soothie." some days he loves it, other days he wants nothing to do with it. i'm glad we have it on hand as a trick up our sleeve.
UPDATE: he's now mostly using the same type of pacifier, but one that's attached to a stuffed animal; this one, in particular. i thought it was just a cute gimmick but the weight of the animal actually helps keep it in his mouth, especially when he's laying on his back in his bassinet. he has also started to try to grab the stuffed animal to hold it in his mouth himself, which isn't totally successful yet but shows initiative.
UPDATE: 5/24/2013 before he was four months old, pacifier use was inconsistent. sometimes it calmed him down, sometimes not. it wasn't an every day thing and i actually thought it wouldn't become part of our regular routine. but when i went back to work, our nanny used it as a sleep strategy and it has worked wonders in getting the babe into a nap and nighttime sleep routine. that's the only time he uses a pacifier -- i don't want it to become a habit outside of sleep and it helps for him to associate it with sleepytime. sometimes he falls asleep quickly without it, but a lot of the time we pop it into his mouth, he sucks for a few minutes, falls asleep, and it falls out. the end. oh, and the animal pacifier became more annoying once he really started paying attention to (and getting distracted by) everything -- around five months.
BURP CLOTHS
i am of the opinion that you cannot have too many burp cloths with a baby around, particularly if you are breastfeeding. i like to have at least one in every room of the house, plus many extras to replace those when they get nasty (which happens multiple times per day). i have a few different kinds but recently go these aden & anais "burpy bibs" given to me and they are phenomenal. i want to replace all my other ones with these. they are exactly the right size, shape, material, and weight to just throw over your shoulder or tuck into the front of your top when nursing without any hassle. plus they have little snaps on the edges so you can use them for full wrap-around bibs. they are genius. i can't say enough about them. they might be my favorite baby thing of all. well, other than the baby.
that's all the gear we're using right now. i will update this post over time as i glean any other knowledge about the myriad things we have filling up the baby's room...
Five weeks and two days old
it's thanksgiving week and i am thankful most of all for my son. but these days i am also thankful for little things like being able to sit at the computer and type while he's quiet and (possibly?) sleeping strapped to my chest in the sling. i don't know how long this will last. this is the edge-of-my-seat thrilling nature of the life of the parent of a five week old. but while it lasts, i will try to document the past week or so.
EATING
nursing is still going ok, though i've run into a few more obstacles. nothing major. i've had some blocked ducts, which are super uncomfortable. but basically they go away on their own with heat (my good ole heating pad, so helpful for my sciatica during pregnancy, comes in handy again) and with plenty of nursing. i also have an unproven theory that when i wear nursing bras or nursing tops with built-in bras that are too tight on the bottom of my boobs that it exacerbates the problem. i've stopped wearing the ones that felt too confining and haven't had a duct problem in awhile. we've had some temporary issues caused by his lazy latching on, but luckily nothing there has developed into anything substantial. it's a day or two of pain -- the crazy sore nipple pain like in the beginning -- but then if he chills out it goes away. sometimes i get white patches on my nipples which i've ready are circulation issues caused by bad latching. like the blockages, they generally take care of themselves. i have gone to a couple of breastfeeding support groups, and they've been hugely helpful for tips, strategies, and just general moral support from other nursing moms and from professional lactation experts. i still don't think i have it down to a science, but we're doing okay. he weighed 10 pounds, 3 ounces at his one month check up, so i'd say he's definitely receiving nourishment. pumping is going well and being able to give him a bottle once in awhile is heavenly. the issue is the days that he nurses every hour or so... when there is no time to pump, and also no time to do anything else (see general babycare/functionality).
SLEEPING
thank my lucky stars, we are still on a good nighttime routine. he's still sleeping well in the bassinet and sleeping soundly (and longer) between nighttime feedings. he doesn't eat for a long time at night, which is good for me (less awake time) and because he should eventually not need to nurse overnight at all. hopefully sooner rather than later, but i'm not complaining right now.
GNERAL BABYCARE
ok, so this part has gotten harder the past few days. he is awake SO much more now. like, most of the day. one day he was awake for 12 hours. this would be ok if he were always happy and content while he's awake, but some days he is a screaming lunatic who needs attention 24/7. and when it's just me to give him said attention... it's a bitch. the hubby was gone nearly all weekend at a bachelor party and i was MISERABLE. but now it's been four days of this new normal, and i'm starting to figure it out. i think he actually gets bored. seeing different people and going out and doing things actually makes him much happier. even moving into a different room of the house helps. who knew? i guess his little brain is really taking a lot more in than i realized at this early stage. the challenge then is making sure not to OVER-stimulate him, which also makes him a raging monster. because he often will not let himself go to sleep. so we're working on strategies for all of this. it's trial and error, but this is my full time job right now so i'll deal.
GENERAL FUNCTIONALITY
this category seems to be directly related to the previous. obviously i am much less functional when babycare takes over the entire 24 hour span of the day. or at least the 12 hours that we're not in bed/sleeping. showering has become less frequent. preparing my own meals is an impossibility a lot of times. and it's totally unpredictable, which is the biggest challenge. i never know if i'll get a solid period of time when he's sleeping or at least quiet and calm and not needing me to hold him. sometimes i do, and then i scramble to prioritize what needs to be done. should i poop? or do the dishes? or put in that load of laundry? it's not as easy as it was. i'm hoping by strategically dealing with his new daytime needs that i can figure out ways to work it, because there have been events in the past few days that i'd like not to repeat, such as not eating for almost 8 hours and not realizing it until i got dizzy.
both my parents and my in-laws will be here this week for thanksgiving. i hope they will forgive my filthy house and also not be totally freaked out by the increased fussiness of their grandson and virtual uselessness of their daughter/daughter-in-law. i can really only claim responsibility for the baby's needs at this point... anything else is a crapshoot. but they'll understand that, right? we're about to find out. at the very least i hope someone will be able to hold him so i can take a shower. one day.
EATING
nursing is still going ok, though i've run into a few more obstacles. nothing major. i've had some blocked ducts, which are super uncomfortable. but basically they go away on their own with heat (my good ole heating pad, so helpful for my sciatica during pregnancy, comes in handy again) and with plenty of nursing. i also have an unproven theory that when i wear nursing bras or nursing tops with built-in bras that are too tight on the bottom of my boobs that it exacerbates the problem. i've stopped wearing the ones that felt too confining and haven't had a duct problem in awhile. we've had some temporary issues caused by his lazy latching on, but luckily nothing there has developed into anything substantial. it's a day or two of pain -- the crazy sore nipple pain like in the beginning -- but then if he chills out it goes away. sometimes i get white patches on my nipples which i've ready are circulation issues caused by bad latching. like the blockages, they generally take care of themselves. i have gone to a couple of breastfeeding support groups, and they've been hugely helpful for tips, strategies, and just general moral support from other nursing moms and from professional lactation experts. i still don't think i have it down to a science, but we're doing okay. he weighed 10 pounds, 3 ounces at his one month check up, so i'd say he's definitely receiving nourishment. pumping is going well and being able to give him a bottle once in awhile is heavenly. the issue is the days that he nurses every hour or so... when there is no time to pump, and also no time to do anything else (see general babycare/functionality).
SLEEPING
thank my lucky stars, we are still on a good nighttime routine. he's still sleeping well in the bassinet and sleeping soundly (and longer) between nighttime feedings. he doesn't eat for a long time at night, which is good for me (less awake time) and because he should eventually not need to nurse overnight at all. hopefully sooner rather than later, but i'm not complaining right now.
GNERAL BABYCARE
ok, so this part has gotten harder the past few days. he is awake SO much more now. like, most of the day. one day he was awake for 12 hours. this would be ok if he were always happy and content while he's awake, but some days he is a screaming lunatic who needs attention 24/7. and when it's just me to give him said attention... it's a bitch. the hubby was gone nearly all weekend at a bachelor party and i was MISERABLE. but now it's been four days of this new normal, and i'm starting to figure it out. i think he actually gets bored. seeing different people and going out and doing things actually makes him much happier. even moving into a different room of the house helps. who knew? i guess his little brain is really taking a lot more in than i realized at this early stage. the challenge then is making sure not to OVER-stimulate him, which also makes him a raging monster. because he often will not let himself go to sleep. so we're working on strategies for all of this. it's trial and error, but this is my full time job right now so i'll deal.
GENERAL FUNCTIONALITY
this category seems to be directly related to the previous. obviously i am much less functional when babycare takes over the entire 24 hour span of the day. or at least the 12 hours that we're not in bed/sleeping. showering has become less frequent. preparing my own meals is an impossibility a lot of times. and it's totally unpredictable, which is the biggest challenge. i never know if i'll get a solid period of time when he's sleeping or at least quiet and calm and not needing me to hold him. sometimes i do, and then i scramble to prioritize what needs to be done. should i poop? or do the dishes? or put in that load of laundry? it's not as easy as it was. i'm hoping by strategically dealing with his new daytime needs that i can figure out ways to work it, because there have been events in the past few days that i'd like not to repeat, such as not eating for almost 8 hours and not realizing it until i got dizzy.
both my parents and my in-laws will be here this week for thanksgiving. i hope they will forgive my filthy house and also not be totally freaked out by the increased fussiness of their grandson and virtual uselessness of their daughter/daughter-in-law. i can really only claim responsibility for the baby's needs at this point... anything else is a crapshoot. but they'll understand that, right? we're about to find out. at the very least i hope someone will be able to hold him so i can take a shower. one day.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Parenthood: the first four weeks
it's funny to me now that i planned to write a weekly post. perhaps at some point i'll get to that stage in my functionality, but by then weekly posts probably won't be that interesting or necessary. right now i'm pretty pleased that i'm finding the time and energy to write about this first almost month (!!!) since the baby arrived... and i can't decide if that elapsed time feels like much longer or much shorter. or both, somehow.
the first week was a whirlwind. all of our families were in town. we had constant help around the house, which was nice, but it was also really intense to have all of those people there. all the time. the grandparents fought over whose turn it was to hold the baby, and basically he slept 90% of the time. looking back on it now that was sort of a dream. and i think we thought somehow that that was indicative of how his temperament would be, forever. no one told me that newborns are mostly complete and total lumps at first. all i'd heard was the stories of screaming fussy babies and spit-up and poop explosions and no one getting any sleep at night... i was not aware that this doesn't start until week two or three. sigh.
anyway, a week after he was born we had his bris, which was lovely, and then all the family skedaddled. i was initially worried to be on my own with the baby, but for a number of reasons i still haven't been "on my own" all that much. that second week for whatever reason the hubby just didn't have a lot of work. he was home with the babe and i almost every day, and the transition from six or eight adults in the house to just us two wasn't that bad at all. the third week we had a hurricane, and the hubby didn't work again because the city shut down. this week we had a blizzard, and the hubby didn't really work again. so it's looking like week five of the baby's life will find me on my own as a stay at home mom for the first time. at this point, i think i can probably handle it. probably. most of the time. i hope.
it's hard for me to give a step by step of what's happened over these past four weeks so i won't try. i will summarize in categories instead.
EATING
breastfeeding is hard. luckily, that's something i knew going in. i've had enough friends with enough nursing issues to know the hell that i might expect, and thankfully it hasn't been anywhere near as bad as i know it could be. we haven't had any major issues. he latched on well from the first day in the hospital, though he was mostly frustrated by nursing the first couple of days until my milk came in (the night of day four). after that he nursed like a champ. i had bloody and sore nipples (lanolin helped) but eventually that ended. now we sort of have a schedule, most days. the nights are actually pretty awesome for the most part (see more under "sleeping"). occasionally he has a weird nursing day, which is very frustrating, and the past couple of days my nipples have started hurting again because he's doing some weird ass stuff with his latch sometimes that i can't quite figure out. but mostly... it's okay. i learned how to use my breast pump and have pumped enough to give him a bottle the past two days (once the hubby gave it to him, just to see how he did, and tonight my parents babysat while we went OUT, to a BAR, and he took the bottle perfectly once again!). all in all i'm pretty pleased with how that's going. he's putting on weight really well so obviously he's not malnourished. it's pretty cool that i can sustain the life of another creature with something that my body makes all on its own. nature, man. wow.
SLEEPING
we've gotten into a relatively regular nighttime routine over the past week or two. he usually nurses between 11pm and midnight, and then we go to bed. he sleeps until 3 or 4am, we nurse then for 45 minutes to an hour, depending, and then go back to sleep until 6:30 or 7am and then nurse again. the past three nights in a row he has slept in his bassinet after every feeding, which is a big accomplishment. for the first couple of weeks he slept in the bed with me a lot. which, frankly, i love. but i know we don't want to co-sleep officially, and the pediatrician said habits can form even at this young of an age. he needed to get used to sleeping away from "a warm body," and i see how this has made him more relaxed and comfortable overall now that he actually can. so now at night after each time i nurse him i swaddle him and put him down in his bassinet, which is attached to our bed. he's really laying right next to me, just about a foot away. and most of the time he goes right to sleep. sometimes i have to pick him up and comfort him and then put him down again. but three nights running there has been no major fussing, no meltdowns... the hubby doesn't even wake up when i nurse him a lot of the time. fingers crossed that this continues for awhile, at least.
GENERAL BABY CARE
i kinda feel like this hasn't been too challenging for me. i have read a lot about babies and seen a lot of people in action with them. also, despite the amazing calmness of the first week being somewhat of a ruse, this baby does seem to have a fairly easygoing temperament. he's chill like his father as opposed to high strung like his mother. thankfully. when he cries, we almost always know (now) what he's crying about. it's usually rectified within minutes by going through the checklist: hungry? dirty diaper? hot? cold? if none of those things are the issue, we've now learned that he's just having a normal baby freakout (overstimulated or overtired or who knows what), which can be solved within 5-7 minutes at most by swaddling and rocking him. that's it. it is very, very rare that we are at our wits' end wondering what's going on with him for more than a couple of minutes. the rational nature of this pleases both of us a great deal. the hubby, especially, just can't deal with unexplained behavior. i know we'll encounter new challenges in the future as he continues to grow and develop at rapid pace, but i'm quite happy that we're not drowning in these initial stages of parenting.
GENERAL FUNCTIONALITY
i couldn't think of anything else to call the rest of my daily life that doesn't include the above categories. i guess there are diaper changes in there, but those don't really need exposition. overall i feel that i am mostly functioning as a human. this might sound obvious or silly to say, but i have known many parents of newborns and i know that this is an important consideration. i have taken him out for walks in the stroller and in the baby carrier, gone to stores and cafes for parent group meetups, gone out to dinner several times, and had friends over at the house. this weekend my parents made an impromptu visit and insisted we go out tonight and let them watch the baby. it was great. i'm proud that we're as functional as we are. we eat, the dishes get done, the laundry gets done (every freakin' day!), the house stays clean (the cleaning woman helps, of course), and even the pets get fed and walked and played with... though not to the same degree as they are used to. i don't feel like i have anything going on in my life except for the baby and these mundane household chores, but the fact that it's all getting done is a good thing.
i do have my meltdowns. these are partially caused by hormones, i know, and partially by the drastic, irreversible change in my life. as much as pregnancy made me somewhat a slave to my circumstances, i am now 100% a slave to another creature's needs. i no longer have my own schedule or, honestly, life. my wants and needs are secondary to his. there are many times i desperately want to eat or go to the bathroom but can't because he has to do those things first. most of the time i'm okay with this arrangement. i knew what i was signing up for. but there are moments -- almost every day -- when it just feels like too much, or that it's too unfair, or that i just want a little break that i know i can't have. that responsibility can be really overwhelming.
but then i know it's worth it... like this morning, when i got up at 8 knowing he'd sleep at least another couple of hours, and joyfully was getting stuff done around the house without feeling tethered to him... until about 9:30 when i missed him and started thinking about waking him up. i didn't, mind you. but the hubby thought i was absolutely insane for even saying that i sort of missed having him around. "all you talk about is how you don't ever have any time without him, and now you have it!" he said. "what's wrong with you?" well, to me that's evidence that i really love my kid and i know i did the right thing by bringing him into my life. it drives me crazy sometimes that i don't get a break, that my life has become all about him. but then i realize that i wouldn't want it any other way. because parenthood, above all, is amazing so far. by far the best thing i've ever done. maybe the hardest, sure. but he's only four weeks old and it's already so, so worth it.
the first week was a whirlwind. all of our families were in town. we had constant help around the house, which was nice, but it was also really intense to have all of those people there. all the time. the grandparents fought over whose turn it was to hold the baby, and basically he slept 90% of the time. looking back on it now that was sort of a dream. and i think we thought somehow that that was indicative of how his temperament would be, forever. no one told me that newborns are mostly complete and total lumps at first. all i'd heard was the stories of screaming fussy babies and spit-up and poop explosions and no one getting any sleep at night... i was not aware that this doesn't start until week two or three. sigh.
anyway, a week after he was born we had his bris, which was lovely, and then all the family skedaddled. i was initially worried to be on my own with the baby, but for a number of reasons i still haven't been "on my own" all that much. that second week for whatever reason the hubby just didn't have a lot of work. he was home with the babe and i almost every day, and the transition from six or eight adults in the house to just us two wasn't that bad at all. the third week we had a hurricane, and the hubby didn't work again because the city shut down. this week we had a blizzard, and the hubby didn't really work again. so it's looking like week five of the baby's life will find me on my own as a stay at home mom for the first time. at this point, i think i can probably handle it. probably. most of the time. i hope.
it's hard for me to give a step by step of what's happened over these past four weeks so i won't try. i will summarize in categories instead.
EATING
breastfeeding is hard. luckily, that's something i knew going in. i've had enough friends with enough nursing issues to know the hell that i might expect, and thankfully it hasn't been anywhere near as bad as i know it could be. we haven't had any major issues. he latched on well from the first day in the hospital, though he was mostly frustrated by nursing the first couple of days until my milk came in (the night of day four). after that he nursed like a champ. i had bloody and sore nipples (lanolin helped) but eventually that ended. now we sort of have a schedule, most days. the nights are actually pretty awesome for the most part (see more under "sleeping"). occasionally he has a weird nursing day, which is very frustrating, and the past couple of days my nipples have started hurting again because he's doing some weird ass stuff with his latch sometimes that i can't quite figure out. but mostly... it's okay. i learned how to use my breast pump and have pumped enough to give him a bottle the past two days (once the hubby gave it to him, just to see how he did, and tonight my parents babysat while we went OUT, to a BAR, and he took the bottle perfectly once again!). all in all i'm pretty pleased with how that's going. he's putting on weight really well so obviously he's not malnourished. it's pretty cool that i can sustain the life of another creature with something that my body makes all on its own. nature, man. wow.
SLEEPING
we've gotten into a relatively regular nighttime routine over the past week or two. he usually nurses between 11pm and midnight, and then we go to bed. he sleeps until 3 or 4am, we nurse then for 45 minutes to an hour, depending, and then go back to sleep until 6:30 or 7am and then nurse again. the past three nights in a row he has slept in his bassinet after every feeding, which is a big accomplishment. for the first couple of weeks he slept in the bed with me a lot. which, frankly, i love. but i know we don't want to co-sleep officially, and the pediatrician said habits can form even at this young of an age. he needed to get used to sleeping away from "a warm body," and i see how this has made him more relaxed and comfortable overall now that he actually can. so now at night after each time i nurse him i swaddle him and put him down in his bassinet, which is attached to our bed. he's really laying right next to me, just about a foot away. and most of the time he goes right to sleep. sometimes i have to pick him up and comfort him and then put him down again. but three nights running there has been no major fussing, no meltdowns... the hubby doesn't even wake up when i nurse him a lot of the time. fingers crossed that this continues for awhile, at least.
GENERAL BABY CARE
i kinda feel like this hasn't been too challenging for me. i have read a lot about babies and seen a lot of people in action with them. also, despite the amazing calmness of the first week being somewhat of a ruse, this baby does seem to have a fairly easygoing temperament. he's chill like his father as opposed to high strung like his mother. thankfully. when he cries, we almost always know (now) what he's crying about. it's usually rectified within minutes by going through the checklist: hungry? dirty diaper? hot? cold? if none of those things are the issue, we've now learned that he's just having a normal baby freakout (overstimulated or overtired or who knows what), which can be solved within 5-7 minutes at most by swaddling and rocking him. that's it. it is very, very rare that we are at our wits' end wondering what's going on with him for more than a couple of minutes. the rational nature of this pleases both of us a great deal. the hubby, especially, just can't deal with unexplained behavior. i know we'll encounter new challenges in the future as he continues to grow and develop at rapid pace, but i'm quite happy that we're not drowning in these initial stages of parenting.
GENERAL FUNCTIONALITY
i couldn't think of anything else to call the rest of my daily life that doesn't include the above categories. i guess there are diaper changes in there, but those don't really need exposition. overall i feel that i am mostly functioning as a human. this might sound obvious or silly to say, but i have known many parents of newborns and i know that this is an important consideration. i have taken him out for walks in the stroller and in the baby carrier, gone to stores and cafes for parent group meetups, gone out to dinner several times, and had friends over at the house. this weekend my parents made an impromptu visit and insisted we go out tonight and let them watch the baby. it was great. i'm proud that we're as functional as we are. we eat, the dishes get done, the laundry gets done (every freakin' day!), the house stays clean (the cleaning woman helps, of course), and even the pets get fed and walked and played with... though not to the same degree as they are used to. i don't feel like i have anything going on in my life except for the baby and these mundane household chores, but the fact that it's all getting done is a good thing.
i do have my meltdowns. these are partially caused by hormones, i know, and partially by the drastic, irreversible change in my life. as much as pregnancy made me somewhat a slave to my circumstances, i am now 100% a slave to another creature's needs. i no longer have my own schedule or, honestly, life. my wants and needs are secondary to his. there are many times i desperately want to eat or go to the bathroom but can't because he has to do those things first. most of the time i'm okay with this arrangement. i knew what i was signing up for. but there are moments -- almost every day -- when it just feels like too much, or that it's too unfair, or that i just want a little break that i know i can't have. that responsibility can be really overwhelming.
but then i know it's worth it... like this morning, when i got up at 8 knowing he'd sleep at least another couple of hours, and joyfully was getting stuff done around the house without feeling tethered to him... until about 9:30 when i missed him and started thinking about waking him up. i didn't, mind you. but the hubby thought i was absolutely insane for even saying that i sort of missed having him around. "all you talk about is how you don't ever have any time without him, and now you have it!" he said. "what's wrong with you?" well, to me that's evidence that i really love my kid and i know i did the right thing by bringing him into my life. it drives me crazy sometimes that i don't get a break, that my life has become all about him. but then i realize that i wouldn't want it any other way. because parenthood, above all, is amazing so far. by far the best thing i've ever done. maybe the hardest, sure. but he's only four weeks old and it's already so, so worth it.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
The Birth Story!
just hours after i wrote that last post my waiting came to an end! i was in labor by 9pm that night and my baby boy arrived the following afternoon. but much like everything else about this pregnancy, it didn't happen the way i imagined. here's the story...
there i was, at my weekly appointment at the high risk doctor. in retrospect, i should have suspected something because the ultrasound tech was acting really strange during the scan. she hardly spoke except to ask me some weird questions about my medication. when the doctor came in she immediately told him to look at the images she'd taken. he took a quick look and then turned to me and said, "how do i tell you this? we have to get this baby out." i probably looked like a deer in headlights. i think i said, "why?" he then proceeded to scare me half to death by telling me that my uterus was becoming a "toxic environment" because the placenta was showing signs of shutting down. they could tell this because the scan showed that the blood flow from the placenta to the baby was decreasing. he said in a matter of days it could lead to brain damage to the baby, so he wanted to induce me asap. i was reeling at this point. i was terrified to be induced, because i know it often takes much longer than a natural labor and women end up needing an epidural, which i really, really didn't want. to make matters worse, the hubby was working about 45 minutes away and i was freaking out about all of this by myself.
i called the hubby and told him he needed to leave his client and go home and get the hospital bags and meet me. i called my doula and told her we might be on for that night. meanwhile, the doctor called my regular OB to discuss (and i found out later from the OB that he was really pressuring her to give me an emergency c-section) and she decided that even though the high risk docs are really alarmist and over the top that it wasn't worth the risk if the placenta really was deteriorating as he said. so i went straight from my doctor appt. to Labor & Delivery on the other side of the hospital. i was a wreck at this point since i didn't really know what was going to happen and of course because i thought my baby was in danger.
i was admitted to triage at 5pm, examined and told that my cervix was already 80% thinned and i was about 3cm dilated. since i had that progress going in they decided to just give me pitocin to start labor and hope for the best. the resident doctor who examined me told me i couldn't eat or drink anything from that point on just in case i needed to have a c-section, which made me super unhappy since i hadn't eaten since my school-time lunch at 11:30. finally my OB showed up. she was confident that i had a good chance to have a successful, unmedicated vaginal birth like i wanted (other than the pitocin, obviously). the hubby showed up with the hospital bags and immediately i felt a million times better. we waited awhile in triage because Labor & Delivery was full, but my OB told him to go out and get us dinner and we should just relax while we could. so we did. we got a room in L&D about 9pm and they started the pitocin at 9:20 or so. my doula arrived at 10:15.
the first part of labor wasn't that bad at all. i was actually thinking if this was it it was going to be a breeze. my doula had me moving around a lot and trying lots of different positions. i was hooked up to the pitocin IV but i could wheel the thingy around with me, and the fetal heart monitoring (required when you're on pitocin) was wireless so that was super nice in terms of my mobility. the contractions got steadily worse as they upped the pitocin dose in my IV, but i could handle it. i should have known. unfortunately, i wasn't dilating any further. that was super disappointing to hear. so at 4am my OB broke my water (which was disgusting! and so weird!) and then things really picked up. i lose track of time after that, but i know the thoughts of labor being a breeze were gone from my mind. it got really painful, and the strategies i'd been using so far to cope with the contractions (listening to music, telling the hubby and my doula to have random conversations to distract me) stopped working. during those couple of hours, i had decided (though i didn't tell anyone) that when the doctor examined me next if i hadn't made a lot of progress i was going to have to ask for an epidural. i really didn't want one, but i knew i couldn't deal with many more hours feeling the way i was. but, thankfully, when she came back to check on me she found that i was at 7cm! practically there! that was enough of a motivation to keep me going. the next hour or two were pretty brutal in terms of pain. i knew there was an end in sight, but it was really, really hard. my doula, my nurse, and the hubby were absolute superstars. i never could have done it without any of the three of them. the weirdest part for me was how much pressure i felt in my bottom. i didn't feel it at all in my crotch, which is i assumed the sensations would emanate from. instead, as i said to the hubby, i just "couldn't believe how much it feels like this baby is going to come out of my butt." i was still moving around a lot and trying lots of different positions, thanks to my doula forcing me, but it was getting harder and harder. at one point i asked her if we could turn off the pitocin for a little while so i could take a break. she handled that well and reminded me that, actually, the contractions were helping the baby to come so no... we shouldn't turn off the pitocin. i was getting a bit loopy. but by the end of that couple of hours, it was daylight and i was fully dilated and ready to push!
so then i'm thinking: it's the home stretch! an hour or so, maybe, and the baby would be here! i could do it! but once again... my story wasn't what i imagined. pushing took about three and a half hours. which sucked. well, the first hour and a half was actually ok. i kept thinking, "this is so much better than when i was just having contractions and not doing anything about them!" i had a little trouble figuring out how to push at first. i definitely had the urge, but the know-how isn't exactly automatic. they kept telling me to push like i was constipated and trying to have a bowel movement, but as a pregnant person with hemorrhoids this has been a behavior that i have fought against for nine months! my OB coached me through the first few rounds, but then she had to leave for another engagement (she had warned us about this the day before, so i was prepared). the doctor on call was, luckily, amazing and i think did an even better job helping me figure out what the hell i was supposed to be doing. his instructions were very procedural and specific, which is how my brain works. it felt like i was doing something productive, which i liked, and again i just kept thinking it's almost over! right? sigh...
as time went on it got way more intense. the contractions were getting stronger and stronger, and as the baby moved down the birth canal the pressure kept increasing. then they realized that i hadn't peed in hours, which might be impeding the baby's path. i told them i didn't feel like i had to go, but they used a catheter to empty my bladder and sure enough it was full! so i kept pushing. and pushing. and then came the part where his head was crowning for, oh, over and hour. they kept saying i was so close, but his head would get sucked back inside at the end of every contraction. that was so frustrating, and i was getting SO tired of pushing (and just tired in general, since i'd been awake for 28 hours at that point and in labor for 14 of them). the last few pushes were really painful because the baby had his hand in his mouth and would not move it, which was apparently why his head wouldn't come out! so the doc had to stick his hands inside and get the silly baby's hand out of the way. that was the part where i yelled "OW!" really loudly twice. it felt like my pelvic bones were cracking. other than that and a few times during the worst of the pre-pushing contractions i was a pretty quiet laborer, surprisingly. everyone kept saying what a great job i was doing and how impressed they were that i hadn't had any pain medication. i was just totally internalized. i knew the other people were in the room but they felt almost like shadows. i knew i had to stay completely focused on pushing to get through it. it was really, really hard. but the baby's heart rate stayed completely steady for my entire labor, which was remarkable, so there was no reason to rush anything or for them to move to any other means of getting the baby out. i was ok, he was ok... so we just kept pushing. and then, eventually, he was there: 12:53pm, Saturday, October 13. he weighed 8lbs. and 9oz. and was 20 inches long. and he had a full head of hair just like the ultrasound techs were always telling me they saw in the scans.
i almost couldn't believe it when they showed him to me and put him on my chest. it was so bizarre to see the little creature that had been inside me for months out in the world. i thought beforehand that i would surely cry when i saw him, but i didn't. i was so happy and just kept staring at him. the hubby cut the umbilical cord (which originally he thought he wouldn't do... he also thought he wouldn't look at anything below my waist during delivery, but that didn't happen either!) and the doctor showed us the placenta and amniotic sac when they came out, which were really freakin' cool to see. as we stared at the baby and my doula helped us get started with breastfeeding, the doctor was rinsing and washing me up and stitching closed the two tiny tears that i sustained during all that pushing. he seemed surprised i didn't tear worse than that, considering how long i pushed and how incredibly swollen i was. i say it was all of that perineal massage! after i'd held him for awhile the doctors checked out the baby, a bit closely because he seemed to be having some respiratory issues. a visit from a pediatrics resident and a nicu resident resolved those worries, and eventually we were allowed to have our families (who'd been in the waiting room for hours) come in to visit, and then they packed us up and moved us upstairs to the Mother & Baby unit.
the hubby and our family stayed in my room for a few hours. they brought me some food and waited on me hand and foot. the hubby was so exhausted he could barely see straight, but i was running on so much adrenaline i didn't even feel tired. i definitely didn't feel like i'd been awake for 36 hours and had just done the most difficult physical task of my life. the nurses came and explained a bunch of stuff to me about my medication and my hospital stay and newborn care. around 7pm everyone went home. my first night was a little harrowing. not only did i have this tiny baby to take care of (though he really did sleep most of the time), but i was still hooked up to the pitocin IV (they were afraid since my labor wasn't natural that my body wouldn't continue to have the necessary contractions to take care of all the afterbirth stuff) and i was gushing blood from my vagina and could barely sit down due to the horrific state of my hemorrhoids from all that damn pushing. seriously, my hemorrhoid experience prior to this was nothing. laughable. they gave me 800mg ibuprofen, which was a lifesaver (i'm still taking it, ten days later, and have no plans to stop anytime soon). every trip to the bathroom was a half hour endeavor between wheeling the IV with me and trying to keep from bleeding all over everything. i had my parents bring me Depends on the second day because i couldn't think of anything other than diapers that would contain the mess. (i'm still using those, too, ten days later). my body definitely felt like it had been through something huge and unparalleled. but every time i looked at the baby i knew it was worth it.
i stayed in the hospital for two days. the nurses were so helpful and kind, and i took a breastfeeding class with a lactation nurse that was really useful. the hubby and our family came to visit and brought me food and coffee, but i also had some alone time with the baby that i cherished. they discharged me and the baby on monday morning, when both of us were declared healthy and ready for the world (other than some iron issues with me, so i'm on a supplement). my physical ailments are getting better by the day. still bleeding and still sore, but much less so. even the hemorrhoids are getting better already. i plan to write weekly updates, so i'll condense the first week and a half into my first Parenthood post soon. as a sneak preview, though, things are going pretty well. it's a whole new world, but i was ready for it, and i'm loving it so far. :)
there i was, at my weekly appointment at the high risk doctor. in retrospect, i should have suspected something because the ultrasound tech was acting really strange during the scan. she hardly spoke except to ask me some weird questions about my medication. when the doctor came in she immediately told him to look at the images she'd taken. he took a quick look and then turned to me and said, "how do i tell you this? we have to get this baby out." i probably looked like a deer in headlights. i think i said, "why?" he then proceeded to scare me half to death by telling me that my uterus was becoming a "toxic environment" because the placenta was showing signs of shutting down. they could tell this because the scan showed that the blood flow from the placenta to the baby was decreasing. he said in a matter of days it could lead to brain damage to the baby, so he wanted to induce me asap. i was reeling at this point. i was terrified to be induced, because i know it often takes much longer than a natural labor and women end up needing an epidural, which i really, really didn't want. to make matters worse, the hubby was working about 45 minutes away and i was freaking out about all of this by myself.
i called the hubby and told him he needed to leave his client and go home and get the hospital bags and meet me. i called my doula and told her we might be on for that night. meanwhile, the doctor called my regular OB to discuss (and i found out later from the OB that he was really pressuring her to give me an emergency c-section) and she decided that even though the high risk docs are really alarmist and over the top that it wasn't worth the risk if the placenta really was deteriorating as he said. so i went straight from my doctor appt. to Labor & Delivery on the other side of the hospital. i was a wreck at this point since i didn't really know what was going to happen and of course because i thought my baby was in danger.
i was admitted to triage at 5pm, examined and told that my cervix was already 80% thinned and i was about 3cm dilated. since i had that progress going in they decided to just give me pitocin to start labor and hope for the best. the resident doctor who examined me told me i couldn't eat or drink anything from that point on just in case i needed to have a c-section, which made me super unhappy since i hadn't eaten since my school-time lunch at 11:30. finally my OB showed up. she was confident that i had a good chance to have a successful, unmedicated vaginal birth like i wanted (other than the pitocin, obviously). the hubby showed up with the hospital bags and immediately i felt a million times better. we waited awhile in triage because Labor & Delivery was full, but my OB told him to go out and get us dinner and we should just relax while we could. so we did. we got a room in L&D about 9pm and they started the pitocin at 9:20 or so. my doula arrived at 10:15.
the first part of labor wasn't that bad at all. i was actually thinking if this was it it was going to be a breeze. my doula had me moving around a lot and trying lots of different positions. i was hooked up to the pitocin IV but i could wheel the thingy around with me, and the fetal heart monitoring (required when you're on pitocin) was wireless so that was super nice in terms of my mobility. the contractions got steadily worse as they upped the pitocin dose in my IV, but i could handle it. i should have known. unfortunately, i wasn't dilating any further. that was super disappointing to hear. so at 4am my OB broke my water (which was disgusting! and so weird!) and then things really picked up. i lose track of time after that, but i know the thoughts of labor being a breeze were gone from my mind. it got really painful, and the strategies i'd been using so far to cope with the contractions (listening to music, telling the hubby and my doula to have random conversations to distract me) stopped working. during those couple of hours, i had decided (though i didn't tell anyone) that when the doctor examined me next if i hadn't made a lot of progress i was going to have to ask for an epidural. i really didn't want one, but i knew i couldn't deal with many more hours feeling the way i was. but, thankfully, when she came back to check on me she found that i was at 7cm! practically there! that was enough of a motivation to keep me going. the next hour or two were pretty brutal in terms of pain. i knew there was an end in sight, but it was really, really hard. my doula, my nurse, and the hubby were absolute superstars. i never could have done it without any of the three of them. the weirdest part for me was how much pressure i felt in my bottom. i didn't feel it at all in my crotch, which is i assumed the sensations would emanate from. instead, as i said to the hubby, i just "couldn't believe how much it feels like this baby is going to come out of my butt." i was still moving around a lot and trying lots of different positions, thanks to my doula forcing me, but it was getting harder and harder. at one point i asked her if we could turn off the pitocin for a little while so i could take a break. she handled that well and reminded me that, actually, the contractions were helping the baby to come so no... we shouldn't turn off the pitocin. i was getting a bit loopy. but by the end of that couple of hours, it was daylight and i was fully dilated and ready to push!
so then i'm thinking: it's the home stretch! an hour or so, maybe, and the baby would be here! i could do it! but once again... my story wasn't what i imagined. pushing took about three and a half hours. which sucked. well, the first hour and a half was actually ok. i kept thinking, "this is so much better than when i was just having contractions and not doing anything about them!" i had a little trouble figuring out how to push at first. i definitely had the urge, but the know-how isn't exactly automatic. they kept telling me to push like i was constipated and trying to have a bowel movement, but as a pregnant person with hemorrhoids this has been a behavior that i have fought against for nine months! my OB coached me through the first few rounds, but then she had to leave for another engagement (she had warned us about this the day before, so i was prepared). the doctor on call was, luckily, amazing and i think did an even better job helping me figure out what the hell i was supposed to be doing. his instructions were very procedural and specific, which is how my brain works. it felt like i was doing something productive, which i liked, and again i just kept thinking it's almost over! right? sigh...
as time went on it got way more intense. the contractions were getting stronger and stronger, and as the baby moved down the birth canal the pressure kept increasing. then they realized that i hadn't peed in hours, which might be impeding the baby's path. i told them i didn't feel like i had to go, but they used a catheter to empty my bladder and sure enough it was full! so i kept pushing. and pushing. and then came the part where his head was crowning for, oh, over and hour. they kept saying i was so close, but his head would get sucked back inside at the end of every contraction. that was so frustrating, and i was getting SO tired of pushing (and just tired in general, since i'd been awake for 28 hours at that point and in labor for 14 of them). the last few pushes were really painful because the baby had his hand in his mouth and would not move it, which was apparently why his head wouldn't come out! so the doc had to stick his hands inside and get the silly baby's hand out of the way. that was the part where i yelled "OW!" really loudly twice. it felt like my pelvic bones were cracking. other than that and a few times during the worst of the pre-pushing contractions i was a pretty quiet laborer, surprisingly. everyone kept saying what a great job i was doing and how impressed they were that i hadn't had any pain medication. i was just totally internalized. i knew the other people were in the room but they felt almost like shadows. i knew i had to stay completely focused on pushing to get through it. it was really, really hard. but the baby's heart rate stayed completely steady for my entire labor, which was remarkable, so there was no reason to rush anything or for them to move to any other means of getting the baby out. i was ok, he was ok... so we just kept pushing. and then, eventually, he was there: 12:53pm, Saturday, October 13. he weighed 8lbs. and 9oz. and was 20 inches long. and he had a full head of hair just like the ultrasound techs were always telling me they saw in the scans.
i almost couldn't believe it when they showed him to me and put him on my chest. it was so bizarre to see the little creature that had been inside me for months out in the world. i thought beforehand that i would surely cry when i saw him, but i didn't. i was so happy and just kept staring at him. the hubby cut the umbilical cord (which originally he thought he wouldn't do... he also thought he wouldn't look at anything below my waist during delivery, but that didn't happen either!) and the doctor showed us the placenta and amniotic sac when they came out, which were really freakin' cool to see. as we stared at the baby and my doula helped us get started with breastfeeding, the doctor was rinsing and washing me up and stitching closed the two tiny tears that i sustained during all that pushing. he seemed surprised i didn't tear worse than that, considering how long i pushed and how incredibly swollen i was. i say it was all of that perineal massage! after i'd held him for awhile the doctors checked out the baby, a bit closely because he seemed to be having some respiratory issues. a visit from a pediatrics resident and a nicu resident resolved those worries, and eventually we were allowed to have our families (who'd been in the waiting room for hours) come in to visit, and then they packed us up and moved us upstairs to the Mother & Baby unit.
the hubby and our family stayed in my room for a few hours. they brought me some food and waited on me hand and foot. the hubby was so exhausted he could barely see straight, but i was running on so much adrenaline i didn't even feel tired. i definitely didn't feel like i'd been awake for 36 hours and had just done the most difficult physical task of my life. the nurses came and explained a bunch of stuff to me about my medication and my hospital stay and newborn care. around 7pm everyone went home. my first night was a little harrowing. not only did i have this tiny baby to take care of (though he really did sleep most of the time), but i was still hooked up to the pitocin IV (they were afraid since my labor wasn't natural that my body wouldn't continue to have the necessary contractions to take care of all the afterbirth stuff) and i was gushing blood from my vagina and could barely sit down due to the horrific state of my hemorrhoids from all that damn pushing. seriously, my hemorrhoid experience prior to this was nothing. laughable. they gave me 800mg ibuprofen, which was a lifesaver (i'm still taking it, ten days later, and have no plans to stop anytime soon). every trip to the bathroom was a half hour endeavor between wheeling the IV with me and trying to keep from bleeding all over everything. i had my parents bring me Depends on the second day because i couldn't think of anything other than diapers that would contain the mess. (i'm still using those, too, ten days later). my body definitely felt like it had been through something huge and unparalleled. but every time i looked at the baby i knew it was worth it.
i stayed in the hospital for two days. the nurses were so helpful and kind, and i took a breastfeeding class with a lactation nurse that was really useful. the hubby and our family came to visit and brought me food and coffee, but i also had some alone time with the baby that i cherished. they discharged me and the baby on monday morning, when both of us were declared healthy and ready for the world (other than some iron issues with me, so i'm on a supplement). my physical ailments are getting better by the day. still bleeding and still sore, but much less so. even the hemorrhoids are getting better already. i plan to write weekly updates, so i'll condense the first week and a half into my first Parenthood post soon. as a sneak preview, though, things are going pretty well. it's a whole new world, but i was ready for it, and i'm loving it so far. :)
Friday, October 12, 2012
39 weeks, 5 days & still pregnant
still here! i've basically led a completely normal life during the latter part of this week. after staying home on tuesday and making myself INSANE, i decided to work the rest of the week and i'm glad i did. i'm a little tired but otherwise i actually feel a lot better than i did last week and the week before. i still have a lot of pelvic and groin pressure and i am slow-moving and a little achy and sore, but really i've been mostly able to do about my business. i was totally useless at home... couldn't motivate to do anything other than obsess over minuscule, unimportant details and got so cranky that the hubby came home from work and said he wasn't going to talk to me for a few minutes until i got myself under control. it has been much better to be back at work. i'm definitely tired from only getting about 7 hours of sleep a night, but i can handle it and i know i will catch up this weekend (unless there is some other action going on in my life!!!).
i go to the high risk doc this afternoon for a growth assessment so we'll see what kind of a giant baby he's going to be whenever he gets here. i wonder if that will affect any induction plans? if i'm still pregnant on monday, that's when i go back to the OB and she'll strip my membranes. a colleague told me yesterday that she would never, ever do that again because it was so painful and awful, but i'm trying to put that out of my mind. i know i'd rather try something like that than medical induction, so if that's what it comes to i will try to welcome it openly. but i am really hoping the baby will come on his own this weekend.
i've been scouring the internet and soliciting stories from others about how they felt right before they went into labor -- looking for any possible clues or signs that i can apply to myself -- but the only conclusion i can come to is that it's completely different for everyone and often for every pregnancy. so i guess even though last week i thought i "felt" like it was going to happen any time, i don't really know what that "feeling" is, and i have to be aware that it could still happen any time even though i now feel mostly normal. so that's that! i'm distracting myself as much as possible and just waiting... waiting...
i go to the high risk doc this afternoon for a growth assessment so we'll see what kind of a giant baby he's going to be whenever he gets here. i wonder if that will affect any induction plans? if i'm still pregnant on monday, that's when i go back to the OB and she'll strip my membranes. a colleague told me yesterday that she would never, ever do that again because it was so painful and awful, but i'm trying to put that out of my mind. i know i'd rather try something like that than medical induction, so if that's what it comes to i will try to welcome it openly. but i am really hoping the baby will come on his own this weekend.
i've been scouring the internet and soliciting stories from others about how they felt right before they went into labor -- looking for any possible clues or signs that i can apply to myself -- but the only conclusion i can come to is that it's completely different for everyone and often for every pregnancy. so i guess even though last week i thought i "felt" like it was going to happen any time, i don't really know what that "feeling" is, and i have to be aware that it could still happen any time even though i now feel mostly normal. so that's that! i'm distracting myself as much as possible and just waiting... waiting...
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
countdown to due date: four days
i should probably be surprised that i'm still pregnant, given all the worries about premature labor and whatnot... but i'm not. somehow i had a feeling that was exactly how it would pan out.
i did really think that he might arrive this past weekend, though, i'll admit. yesterday i went to the OB for my 39 week appointment and she, too, was a little surprised that we're still hanging around waiting. but she said again that first babies are often stubborn like that. i'm still just about 2cm dilated. ho hum. funniest part was that i seem to have lost six pounds since last week! the temperature dropped significantly a couple days ago and the fluid overload in my legs and feet seems to have mostly disappeared, so i'm assuming it has to do with that. i actually keep staring at my feet because i don't recognize them... they look so bony and skinny to me!
i had a bit of a freakout about an hour after my appointment when i started bleeding. not brown spotting like i've had after some of my appointments (when she's used the speculum and whatnot), but serious bleeding like i got my period. my first thought was, the elusive "bloody show" that people talk about! but quite quickly i remembered that the bloody show is supposed to be mostly mucus tinged with blood and not very heavy. this was pretty heavy. so i tried to remain calm but couldn't help worrying that something was wrong. i called the OB and she said it could just be from the cervical exam she did and that if it stopped she wasn't worried. i called the high risk doctor to get his input and he said the same thing. he said especially since i'm a bit dilated and closer to labor that i'm more likely to bleed from an exam. since neither of them were concerned i calmed down once the bleeding slowed. it was mostly brown spotting by last night, and a little more this morning, but that seems to be it.
so here we are... 39 weeks and a day, and i actually feel better than i did last week. maybe i'm just adjusting to the constant bodily changes i'm experiencing. i don't know what to make of it. i started taking evening primrose oil, which a lot of people believe helps induce labor, and have also been doing some "perineal massage" with it: basically massaging and stretching the skin in between the vagina and anus. i know is weird but some people (including my OB) really think it helps prepare the body for delivery and avoid the need for an episiotomy. the hubby and i are both really, really ready for this baby to get here and i don't think there's much more we can do to prepare. i wish there were more clues about when it will actually happen, but i know this is just how it goes.
i didn't go to work today mostly because i didn't feel like it, not because i wasn't feeling well enough. i will probably go tomorrow if i feel the same as i do today. other than some occasional contractions and pressure/pain i really feel fine. maybe it's the extra sleep i can accumulate over a long weekend, but my body is just not giving me any flashing warning lights that something significant is about to happen. sigh.
the plan going forward: my OB still thinks he could arrive at any time, but is aware that there's no guarantee about that. she said if i'm still pregnant next week, she'll do something at my 40 week appointment called "stripping the cervical membranes." it's basically separating the amniotic fluid bag from the side of the uterus, which releases hormones that can bring on labor. she said it only works if you're right on the cusp of labor. seems to be a crapshoot from what i've read online. so that would be the 40 week plan. if i end up going another week, she'll induce me for real. she asked if the high risk doc had talked about induction, because apparently they often bring it up and even think about inducing early. they haven't said anything to me, i think because they're also expecting the baby to make an appearance soon. as much as i'm anxious for him to arrive, i do want to avoid medical induction as long as possible. so i suppose there's nothing to do except... wait.
i know the end is in sight... even if we end up having to get to stage two of the doc's plan and i do have to be medically induced, that will be two weeks from now, at most. two weeks, in the long run, is not a long time... especially when i've already been pregnant for nine months AND it took us almost two years to get pregnant in the first place. but still every day is starting to feel like an eternity. i am trying to stay positive, though, and to take advantage of these last few days (?) before life completely changes. sleeping in is really, really nice...
i did really think that he might arrive this past weekend, though, i'll admit. yesterday i went to the OB for my 39 week appointment and she, too, was a little surprised that we're still hanging around waiting. but she said again that first babies are often stubborn like that. i'm still just about 2cm dilated. ho hum. funniest part was that i seem to have lost six pounds since last week! the temperature dropped significantly a couple days ago and the fluid overload in my legs and feet seems to have mostly disappeared, so i'm assuming it has to do with that. i actually keep staring at my feet because i don't recognize them... they look so bony and skinny to me!
i had a bit of a freakout about an hour after my appointment when i started bleeding. not brown spotting like i've had after some of my appointments (when she's used the speculum and whatnot), but serious bleeding like i got my period. my first thought was, the elusive "bloody show" that people talk about! but quite quickly i remembered that the bloody show is supposed to be mostly mucus tinged with blood and not very heavy. this was pretty heavy. so i tried to remain calm but couldn't help worrying that something was wrong. i called the OB and she said it could just be from the cervical exam she did and that if it stopped she wasn't worried. i called the high risk doctor to get his input and he said the same thing. he said especially since i'm a bit dilated and closer to labor that i'm more likely to bleed from an exam. since neither of them were concerned i calmed down once the bleeding slowed. it was mostly brown spotting by last night, and a little more this morning, but that seems to be it.
so here we are... 39 weeks and a day, and i actually feel better than i did last week. maybe i'm just adjusting to the constant bodily changes i'm experiencing. i don't know what to make of it. i started taking evening primrose oil, which a lot of people believe helps induce labor, and have also been doing some "perineal massage" with it: basically massaging and stretching the skin in between the vagina and anus. i know is weird but some people (including my OB) really think it helps prepare the body for delivery and avoid the need for an episiotomy. the hubby and i are both really, really ready for this baby to get here and i don't think there's much more we can do to prepare. i wish there were more clues about when it will actually happen, but i know this is just how it goes.
i didn't go to work today mostly because i didn't feel like it, not because i wasn't feeling well enough. i will probably go tomorrow if i feel the same as i do today. other than some occasional contractions and pressure/pain i really feel fine. maybe it's the extra sleep i can accumulate over a long weekend, but my body is just not giving me any flashing warning lights that something significant is about to happen. sigh.
the plan going forward: my OB still thinks he could arrive at any time, but is aware that there's no guarantee about that. she said if i'm still pregnant next week, she'll do something at my 40 week appointment called "stripping the cervical membranes." it's basically separating the amniotic fluid bag from the side of the uterus, which releases hormones that can bring on labor. she said it only works if you're right on the cusp of labor. seems to be a crapshoot from what i've read online. so that would be the 40 week plan. if i end up going another week, she'll induce me for real. she asked if the high risk doc had talked about induction, because apparently they often bring it up and even think about inducing early. they haven't said anything to me, i think because they're also expecting the baby to make an appearance soon. as much as i'm anxious for him to arrive, i do want to avoid medical induction as long as possible. so i suppose there's nothing to do except... wait.
i know the end is in sight... even if we end up having to get to stage two of the doc's plan and i do have to be medically induced, that will be two weeks from now, at most. two weeks, in the long run, is not a long time... especially when i've already been pregnant for nine months AND it took us almost two years to get pregnant in the first place. but still every day is starting to feel like an eternity. i am trying to stay positive, though, and to take advantage of these last few days (?) before life completely changes. sleeping in is really, really nice...
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
38 week OB visit
still not in labor. :)
i went to the OB yesterday and things are still looking good! she said i'm a bit more dilated than last week (probably about 2cm now) and my cervix has thinned out a bit more, too. she told me she doubts he'll hold out until my due date. she said since it's my first baby, and first babies are sometimes surprising in that way, that she can't say for sure that he'll come early... but she's pretty sure he will. she said if we make it to the due date that he certainly won't come much past that. so the countdown has really begun! of course i didn't have a single contraction all day or night yesterday and i feel totally normal this morning. sigh.
i went to the OB yesterday and things are still looking good! she said i'm a bit more dilated than last week (probably about 2cm now) and my cervix has thinned out a bit more, too. she told me she doubts he'll hold out until my due date. she said since it's my first baby, and first babies are sometimes surprising in that way, that she can't say for sure that he'll come early... but she's pretty sure he will. she said if we make it to the due date that he certainly won't come much past that. so the countdown has really begun! of course i didn't have a single contraction all day or night yesterday and i feel totally normal this morning. sigh.
Monday, October 1, 2012
38 weeks
i really thought last night was IT! i've had several nights lately when i had contractions all night long, but last night's were different: lower, stronger, and more consistent. but alas, by 6:30 this morning they had subsided. now i just have a lot of pressure "down there" but not much else going on. i do feel like the baby has somehow gotten even lower, so hopefully he's on his way out. but i don't think today's the day.
but it's october! so i know he'll be here soon... there's no way around it now! they estimated his weight at 7lbs, 9oz at the high risk doctor on friday. they weren't any more helpful than the regular OB in giving me an estimated timeframe, though. i guess there's just no real way to do that. i go back to the OB this afternoon, but i don't expect any great insight from her. sigh.
i do hope it's sooner rather than later. the hubby is hoping for wednesday, since he has a lot of work the next couple days and we have an appointment to meet the pediatrician tomorrow evening. but i've told the baby i'm fine with him showing up any time now. we had a wonderful weekend: a little getaway that allowed me to swim in a hotel pool, which is all i've been dreaming about for weeks. it was so nice to have some relaxing time away from home, just the two of us, before this next big stage in our lives. and i think we feel ready now. or as ready as we'll ever be. so bring it on, baby!!!
but it's october! so i know he'll be here soon... there's no way around it now! they estimated his weight at 7lbs, 9oz at the high risk doctor on friday. they weren't any more helpful than the regular OB in giving me an estimated timeframe, though. i guess there's just no real way to do that. i go back to the OB this afternoon, but i don't expect any great insight from her. sigh.
i do hope it's sooner rather than later. the hubby is hoping for wednesday, since he has a lot of work the next couple days and we have an appointment to meet the pediatrician tomorrow evening. but i've told the baby i'm fine with him showing up any time now. we had a wonderful weekend: a little getaway that allowed me to swim in a hotel pool, which is all i've been dreaming about for weeks. it was so nice to have some relaxing time away from home, just the two of us, before this next big stage in our lives. and i think we feel ready now. or as ready as we'll ever be. so bring it on, baby!!!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
37 weeks... any day now!!! or not.
last week i had a sense that the baby was lower and wasn't sure if he'd actually "dropped" into true birth position. well, all that changed over the weekend. i have now joined the club of pregnant ladies who absolutely knew it when the baby dropped, and it wasn't all that pleasant.
friday i was much more achy and uncomfortable than i have been, but blamed it on a long(ish) work week and my general lack of energy. saturday this continued, along with way more contractions and pressure than i've felt so far. the contractions still made me feel nauseated, but they were way worse (i basically felt like i was going to puke or poop all the time) and then i had these cramps that radiated down my thigh. which seemed really strange. i started to get nervous that i was actually going into labor. THEN i realized that the baby was moving more than i've felt him move in weeks, since before he got too big for his acrobatics. i couldn't figure out what was the precursor to what: was he moving because of the crazy contractions? or was his movement causing the crazy contractions? i was actually a little nervous that he was in distress or something and was flailing around helplessly in there... but my gut said he was ok... i just needed to wait it out and see what the heck was going on.
by saturday night i was pretty sure i could tell what was happening. he had definitely shifted. the lump that i've learned is his butt and the large, flat surface that i know is his back -- which i've felt off to the side of my belly button for weeks -- were suddenly front and center, right behind my belly button. and his leg kicks had shifted down a bit and more towards the back of my uterus rather than right up in my ribcage. my whole belly had changed shape: i could see that it was sitting much lower than it had been, and protruding out farther as his body now seemed to be totally vertical. and it felt like i had a bowling ball inside of me. the increasing heaviness i've felt for months was nothing compared to this sensation. every movement was like a herculean feat. this, i've read, is exactly what women say it feels like when the baby drops so that his head is actually engaged in the pelvis where it needs to be to start labor.
my doctor confirmed yesterday that this is pretty certainly what happened. she could feel that his positioning had changed and said it seemed like his head was down in my pelvis now, meaning that he is ready for the big show! she also said i'm a little bit more dilated than i was last week, which still isn't much but is a sign of progress; it at least indicates that my body is also preparing and will likely continue to do so and be able to handle a normal vaginal birth. of course there's no way to know when i will actually go into labor. at this point it could be any day... or not. when i left the OB's office she said, "See you next week! If not sooner!" but... there's no guarantee of anything at this point.
i go to the high risk doc on friday and i know they'll do an ultrasound and also a growth assessment. i'm not sure if they'll have any more insight on when the big day will actually be. i'm hoping for next week, i think. i'd like to get through this week and the weekend (when i think the hubby has a birthday surprise planned for me) but i'd really like not to wait until my actual due date in 2 1/2 weeks, if only because i can't imagine how much more uncomfortable i can get and i think the baby will be a giant by then. but i guess we'll just have to wait and see. it is exciting to know that the time is close, for real. and, of course, that everything seems to be happening as it should. i'm also feeling good about the fact that (right now, at least) i feel really in touch with my body and the baby. i'm glad i was able to discern what was happening over the weekend and i hope that means i will have a good sense of how things progress from here on out. i've asked the baby numerous times to hold off on making his entrance until after this week, so i'm going to trust that he heard me on that.
for now i'm trying to be productive at work (though my colleagues are all totally freaked out that i'm here and are developing strategic plans in case i go into labor at school) and get as much done as i can. it's getting harder and harder to focus on work. things are home are squared away: i got my flu shot, finished packing the hospital bag, and have everything else in order that i can possibly think of. so now it's really just the waiting game. i am so excited to meet the little guy. soon!!!
friday i was much more achy and uncomfortable than i have been, but blamed it on a long(ish) work week and my general lack of energy. saturday this continued, along with way more contractions and pressure than i've felt so far. the contractions still made me feel nauseated, but they were way worse (i basically felt like i was going to puke or poop all the time) and then i had these cramps that radiated down my thigh. which seemed really strange. i started to get nervous that i was actually going into labor. THEN i realized that the baby was moving more than i've felt him move in weeks, since before he got too big for his acrobatics. i couldn't figure out what was the precursor to what: was he moving because of the crazy contractions? or was his movement causing the crazy contractions? i was actually a little nervous that he was in distress or something and was flailing around helplessly in there... but my gut said he was ok... i just needed to wait it out and see what the heck was going on.
by saturday night i was pretty sure i could tell what was happening. he had definitely shifted. the lump that i've learned is his butt and the large, flat surface that i know is his back -- which i've felt off to the side of my belly button for weeks -- were suddenly front and center, right behind my belly button. and his leg kicks had shifted down a bit and more towards the back of my uterus rather than right up in my ribcage. my whole belly had changed shape: i could see that it was sitting much lower than it had been, and protruding out farther as his body now seemed to be totally vertical. and it felt like i had a bowling ball inside of me. the increasing heaviness i've felt for months was nothing compared to this sensation. every movement was like a herculean feat. this, i've read, is exactly what women say it feels like when the baby drops so that his head is actually engaged in the pelvis where it needs to be to start labor.
my doctor confirmed yesterday that this is pretty certainly what happened. she could feel that his positioning had changed and said it seemed like his head was down in my pelvis now, meaning that he is ready for the big show! she also said i'm a little bit more dilated than i was last week, which still isn't much but is a sign of progress; it at least indicates that my body is also preparing and will likely continue to do so and be able to handle a normal vaginal birth. of course there's no way to know when i will actually go into labor. at this point it could be any day... or not. when i left the OB's office she said, "See you next week! If not sooner!" but... there's no guarantee of anything at this point.
i go to the high risk doc on friday and i know they'll do an ultrasound and also a growth assessment. i'm not sure if they'll have any more insight on when the big day will actually be. i'm hoping for next week, i think. i'd like to get through this week and the weekend (when i think the hubby has a birthday surprise planned for me) but i'd really like not to wait until my actual due date in 2 1/2 weeks, if only because i can't imagine how much more uncomfortable i can get and i think the baby will be a giant by then. but i guess we'll just have to wait and see. it is exciting to know that the time is close, for real. and, of course, that everything seems to be happening as it should. i'm also feeling good about the fact that (right now, at least) i feel really in touch with my body and the baby. i'm glad i was able to discern what was happening over the weekend and i hope that means i will have a good sense of how things progress from here on out. i've asked the baby numerous times to hold off on making his entrance until after this week, so i'm going to trust that he heard me on that.
for now i'm trying to be productive at work (though my colleagues are all totally freaked out that i'm here and are developing strategic plans in case i go into labor at school) and get as much done as i can. it's getting harder and harder to focus on work. things are home are squared away: i got my flu shot, finished packing the hospital bag, and have everything else in order that i can possibly think of. so now it's really just the waiting game. i am so excited to meet the little guy. soon!!!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
36 weeks, 4 days
another week down! life is turning into a blur of waiting around for this baby, in spite of my best efforts to keep busy. which i am! but still... distracted. it doesn't help that a good portion of my busyness is going to various doctor appointments. i am on an every-week basis with both the regular OB and the high risk OB now, and i can't keep my schedule straight at all (i can't keep most things straight right now). i mostly feel like every time i turn around i'm going to another appointment.
monday i went to the regular OB. my doula and the hubby came with me, just to chat about our birth preferences and labor and whatnot. she took some cultures to test me for the Strep Group B virus (about 1/3 of women carry it and have to have antibiotics during labor to keep from passing it to the baby) and some other stuff. she also did a vaginal exam to check my cervix, which she said is "nice and soft," but not really dilated yet. she said 1cm, if that. which can change fairly quickly, or not. as of today i'm off the anti-contraction medication; if the meds have been doing their job, i shouldn't have been able to have the type of contractions that actually cause you to dilate. so we shall see!
yesterday i went to the high risk OB, and everything is still great with the baby. the doctor said, "this baby is about ready!" i think he's a bit lower than he was before, based on where i feel him kicking and moving (and butting his head against my cervix), though i'm not sure if he's officially "dropped" into birth position. some people say you can tell when that happens, but who knows. they're switching me to a different blood thinner medication, since the one i've been on (Lovenox) isn't safe for labor. you can't have any other kind of medication if the Lovenox is still in your system, and even though i don't *plan* to have any during labor, we all know that can change. so i'll start on Heparin instead, beginning next week. it's a two-times per day injection and one that i have to draw out of the vial myself like my old fertility meds. ugh.
otherwise everything is the same. i need to get a flu shot, since they say that's a smart thing to do to protect the baby since it's super dangerous for them to get the flu when they're so little. we have some other little odds and ends to take care of but mostly we're ready. i feel pretty good. still tired, but trying to be more active now that i'm okay with the onset of labor happening in a reasonable time. still trying to be productive at work, though the more time passes the more silly it feels because time is just dwindling before my leave.
it's gotten to the point now when i hear hopeful expectation in the voice of everyone i call on the phone, as if any call could be the "i'm in labor call." which makes me chuckle. i have to keep reminding people that we could still have another month! in theory. i really don't know what to expect. i know it could happen at any time... or not. which is hard for me to deal with. it's one thing for something less monumental to be unpredictable, but really... more warning for this kind of major life change would be appreciated. ah, well. nothing i can do but wait.
monday i went to the regular OB. my doula and the hubby came with me, just to chat about our birth preferences and labor and whatnot. she took some cultures to test me for the Strep Group B virus (about 1/3 of women carry it and have to have antibiotics during labor to keep from passing it to the baby) and some other stuff. she also did a vaginal exam to check my cervix, which she said is "nice and soft," but not really dilated yet. she said 1cm, if that. which can change fairly quickly, or not. as of today i'm off the anti-contraction medication; if the meds have been doing their job, i shouldn't have been able to have the type of contractions that actually cause you to dilate. so we shall see!
yesterday i went to the high risk OB, and everything is still great with the baby. the doctor said, "this baby is about ready!" i think he's a bit lower than he was before, based on where i feel him kicking and moving (and butting his head against my cervix), though i'm not sure if he's officially "dropped" into birth position. some people say you can tell when that happens, but who knows. they're switching me to a different blood thinner medication, since the one i've been on (Lovenox) isn't safe for labor. you can't have any other kind of medication if the Lovenox is still in your system, and even though i don't *plan* to have any during labor, we all know that can change. so i'll start on Heparin instead, beginning next week. it's a two-times per day injection and one that i have to draw out of the vial myself like my old fertility meds. ugh.
otherwise everything is the same. i need to get a flu shot, since they say that's a smart thing to do to protect the baby since it's super dangerous for them to get the flu when they're so little. we have some other little odds and ends to take care of but mostly we're ready. i feel pretty good. still tired, but trying to be more active now that i'm okay with the onset of labor happening in a reasonable time. still trying to be productive at work, though the more time passes the more silly it feels because time is just dwindling before my leave.
it's gotten to the point now when i hear hopeful expectation in the voice of everyone i call on the phone, as if any call could be the "i'm in labor call." which makes me chuckle. i have to keep reminding people that we could still have another month! in theory. i really don't know what to expect. i know it could happen at any time... or not. which is hard for me to deal with. it's one thing for something less monumental to be unpredictable, but really... more warning for this kind of major life change would be appreciated. ah, well. nothing i can do but wait.
Friday, September 14, 2012
35 weeks, 5 days... one month til EDD!
i realized this morning that one month from today is my due date, which felt both impossibly weird and really exciting at the same time. i promptly texted my acupuncturist to set up some sessions in weeks 37/38... i am going to try everything i can to get labor going on its own and not take after my mother in delivering her first baby (me) ten days late. and 9 1/2 lbs. bring on the eggplant, celery, long walks, and (gods willing) sex. i can't wait.
but i'm going to wait one more week. my doctor told me i could stop taking the anti-labor meds at 36 1/2 weeks, so i'm going to take them until next friday (just over 36 1/2 weeks) just to make sure i get through next week at work. i know there's no guarantee of anything, but the ultrasound tech told me at my last visit that she was on the same meds as i am and she went into labor the day after she stopped taking them at 37 1/2 weeks. i have had a super productive (and exhausting) week at work and need one more of those to feel like i've gotten all my proverbial ducks in a row before there's a chance of this baby making an appearance.
but by monday the 24th, all bets are off. i'll be 37 weeks, chances are this baby will weigh 7 pounds already (if he doesn't now... i'll find out at my appointment later today) (and yes, i know those estimates are often way off), and as far as i'm concerned he can show up whenever he wants. though, in truth, i'd prefer he wait until after my birthday on the 26th so i can enjoy a cupcake in peace.
here in the end of pregnancy things are going okay. i feel mostly fine, other than being tired. my feet are still hopelessly swollen when the weather is humid. they're mildly swollen on other days. but they don't bother me when it's not humid out (other than looking disgusting), so that's a bonus with the fall weather coming on. i'm still sleeping well, waking up a couple of times to pee but falling right back to sleep. i've started having some contractions on and off, which are mostly just uncomfortable. i am no longer constipated (not surprisingly, being off bedrest and actually being able to move around did wonders for that problem) but i will say i still have days when i'm... poo-challenged. still taking metamucil and colace every day; not quite ready to take the risk of giving that up. my lower back hurts occasionally, especially if i make the mistake of carrying a bag on one shoulder. it's nothing like the sciatica, and i've switched to a mini-backpack straight out of the 90s, which has basically eliminated the issue while also demolishing any fashion sense i might have tried to pretend i still have.
oh, and did i mention that i'm gigantic? i feel more baby than person now. i've outgrown a lot of my maternity clothes, which doesn't seem right. aren't they made for this specifically??? my belly just keeps getting bigger and bigger. the rest of me is still mostly the same. i can see a little added roundness in my face, arms, and legs, but i'm not sure how noticeable it is to anyone else. i'm pretty much just an enormous expanding belly. it's all people see when they look at me... i am starting to feel like i don't even have a face anymore. it is a very bizarre way to walk through the world. i actually can't imagine how i could get any bigger, but i know it's pretty much inevitable.
the hubby and i are trying to maximize these last few weeks and do things that we know we won't be able to do for awhile, like going out to eat outside of our neighborhood and seeing movies in the theatre. we have friends visiting this weekend and will do some fun stuff with them, and we've made more social plans for next week. sometimes it's hard to motivate myself because i'm so tired, but i know i will be glad that i got out and enjoyed post-bedrest, pre-baby life a bit. it's totally surreal to think about how much life is going to change -- suddenly -- so soon. but the excitement is outweighing the anxiety. we're almost there!
but i'm going to wait one more week. my doctor told me i could stop taking the anti-labor meds at 36 1/2 weeks, so i'm going to take them until next friday (just over 36 1/2 weeks) just to make sure i get through next week at work. i know there's no guarantee of anything, but the ultrasound tech told me at my last visit that she was on the same meds as i am and she went into labor the day after she stopped taking them at 37 1/2 weeks. i have had a super productive (and exhausting) week at work and need one more of those to feel like i've gotten all my proverbial ducks in a row before there's a chance of this baby making an appearance.
but by monday the 24th, all bets are off. i'll be 37 weeks, chances are this baby will weigh 7 pounds already (if he doesn't now... i'll find out at my appointment later today) (and yes, i know those estimates are often way off), and as far as i'm concerned he can show up whenever he wants. though, in truth, i'd prefer he wait until after my birthday on the 26th so i can enjoy a cupcake in peace.
here in the end of pregnancy things are going okay. i feel mostly fine, other than being tired. my feet are still hopelessly swollen when the weather is humid. they're mildly swollen on other days. but they don't bother me when it's not humid out (other than looking disgusting), so that's a bonus with the fall weather coming on. i'm still sleeping well, waking up a couple of times to pee but falling right back to sleep. i've started having some contractions on and off, which are mostly just uncomfortable. i am no longer constipated (not surprisingly, being off bedrest and actually being able to move around did wonders for that problem) but i will say i still have days when i'm... poo-challenged. still taking metamucil and colace every day; not quite ready to take the risk of giving that up. my lower back hurts occasionally, especially if i make the mistake of carrying a bag on one shoulder. it's nothing like the sciatica, and i've switched to a mini-backpack straight out of the 90s, which has basically eliminated the issue while also demolishing any fashion sense i might have tried to pretend i still have.
oh, and did i mention that i'm gigantic? i feel more baby than person now. i've outgrown a lot of my maternity clothes, which doesn't seem right. aren't they made for this specifically??? my belly just keeps getting bigger and bigger. the rest of me is still mostly the same. i can see a little added roundness in my face, arms, and legs, but i'm not sure how noticeable it is to anyone else. i'm pretty much just an enormous expanding belly. it's all people see when they look at me... i am starting to feel like i don't even have a face anymore. it is a very bizarre way to walk through the world. i actually can't imagine how i could get any bigger, but i know it's pretty much inevitable.
the hubby and i are trying to maximize these last few weeks and do things that we know we won't be able to do for awhile, like going out to eat outside of our neighborhood and seeing movies in the theatre. we have friends visiting this weekend and will do some fun stuff with them, and we've made more social plans for next week. sometimes it's hard to motivate myself because i'm so tired, but i know i will be glad that i got out and enjoyed post-bedrest, pre-baby life a bit. it's totally surreal to think about how much life is going to change -- suddenly -- so soon. but the excitement is outweighing the anxiety. we're almost there!
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
34 Weeks
that's the little guy who's causing all of this chaos in our life... hard to believe! we got some more 3D ultrasound pics at my 32 week appointment, which made him look much less mushy and alien-like than the previous ones. he's doing well, and growing fast. last week, at 33 weeks, he was measuring almost 36 weeks... 79th percentile in size and they estimate 5 1/2 pounds already. i was a huge baby when i was born (9 1/2 pounds) and the doctor told me that most women carry babies similar in size to the way their mothers did. seems weird, but appears to be true in my case. if we make it to 40 weeks, he could weigh almost 9 pounds! and if he happens to be late like i was... well, there you have it.
it's been awhile since i've written a post, which you can attribute to the fact that i am no longer on bed rest! the doc let me go back to work last week because my cervix was still relatively stable in measurement and at 33 weeks he really wasn't concerned about it anymore. i went back at the end of the week, after slaving away for four days (EXHAUSTING after weeks of doing nothing), and my cervix actually measured a bit longer: back up to 2.5! so he said i can pretty much go about my business. this week and next i'll continue to take it as easy as i can, but by the time i hit 36 weeks there are really no more concerns. though i'm not sure how much i will change my activity level then. i am already so, so tired and seemingly getting more and more enormous by the day. two weeks from now i will likely resemble a beached whale on my couch any free second i get.
other than the fatigue and overall body soreness, i am mostly feeling fine. my feet are still problematic in terms of swelling. obviously i don't have them elevated as much now that i'm up and around, and when they blow up they get quite uncomfortable. i'm hoping the weather will cool down a bit, as that seems to be an aggravating factor. but otherwise, honestly, i feel okay. i'm slow-moving and forgetful, but learning to cope. it's been great to be back at work... the time is moving much more quickly! i feel like the little guy will be here any minute.
but i hope it's not any minute. i desperately want to make it until the end of september. but at that point, i'm planning to put into action all the little tips and likely wives' tales i've ever heard about natural ways to induce labor. walking as much as i can, sex (hallelujah!), eating tons of celery and eggplant and whatever else crazy people think induces labor... 'cause i really don't want to be sitting around mid-october still waiting for him to get here.
the hubby and i feel ready... at least as ready as you can be. we know we're not totally prepared for the huge change in our life, but in terms of knowledge and gear and general preparation we've done all we can. now it's time to sit back and try to enjoy our last few weeks together as a twosome, which will be way more fun now that i'm not couch-bound. that said, i am very excited for the baby to arrive. i can't wait to meet him and to embark on this next stage of life. it's been a long time coming!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
31 weeks & a 3D ultrasound!
ok, ok, i know it's not super easy to make out, but this is the baby's face! i had my first 3D ultrasound today and it was so cool. on the screen i could see him in color and so much more clearly than the regular ultrasound. the still shots never look as good as the view on the screen, and i realize out of context it's tough to even figure out what you're looking at... but this is a close-up of his face, mostly looking straight at the camera. the side of his head (his left side) is mushed up against me, so that's hard to see, but you can catch a glimpse of his right eye, nose, and mouth. it was so cool to see what he actually sort of looks like, even though he wasn't super cooperative with the ultrasound tech... as always. i hope i'll get to have another one of those. technology is the bomb.
we also got a decent shot of all of him, profile view with his head on the right:
he's measuring at the 71st percentile now and weighs 4 lbs, which puts him probably around 17 inches long! a big boy! everything looks great, though. he's head down and everything seems to be just fine. his heart is nice and strong, showing no effects of the medicine i was taking. the umbilical cord has been sort of draped near his neck for awhile so they were monitoring that, but as of today it was totally out of the way. one less thing to worry about.
as for my maternity issues, things are the same... which is good. about the best we can hope for, anyway. my cervical measurement was between 2.4 and 2.6 cm today, which is essentially the same as it's been for weeks now. the doctor said he's not all that concerned about it at this point... the further along i get the more "normal" this measurement is. he said i still need to stay on bed rest, mostly because of the size of the baby, but he doesn't see any reason to be concerned at this point. chances are we'll make it past any danger zone. i go back next week and we'll see how it looks in terms of me going back to work.
by friday evening, for reasons unknown, my back pain went completely away. i was expecting it to abate when i took the super medicine over the weekend, but instead it happened before i even took my first dose. i took my last dose on sunday at midnight and now, three days later, it still hasn't started up again. fingers crossed that this terrible side effect has passed at least for awhile, because a new one has cropped up in its place: insomnia. man alive, it's awful. last night i finally got a whopping 8 hours, which was blissful, because the three nights prior i was averaging about 3 hours. it's especially frustrating because i can't find any reason for my sleeplessness, other than being pregnant, which i guess is enough. i read that almost 80% of pregnant women experience sleep issues in the third trimester. it's so unfair. but i'm holding out hope that i can at least pull a repeat of last night tonight and get back on normal footing. for now. i'm just thankful for the ability to nap right now... going back to work will be pretty challenging if this keeps up.
my parents were here for a few days to help out and it was such a blessing. my dad did all kinds of odd jobs around the house that have needed to get done for months/years, and my mom helped me completely finish the baby's room. all of the gifts we've gotten are organized and put away, all the new clothing and accessories are washed and in the dresser, and the room is decorated and totally ready for baby, whenever he arrives. that puts my mind at ease. now i can focus on the projects that i am able to do from a reclined position: school prep, pediatrician and daycare research, and hopefully getting some good rest and relaxation in before the craziness of this fall is upon us. i am getting really excited.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
quick update from my cervix...
went to the doctor today and things are looking good! my cervical measurement was between 2.6 and 2.7 today, which basically means it's holding steady but i like that the numbers are a little higher than last week's 2.4. they checked out all the baby's vitals, especially his heart since that's the danger with the one medication (indomethacin), but everything looks great. so the doc said i should stick to the same regimen for another week. this weekend is the last time i will take the indomethacin, as it's really not safe for baby after 32 weeks. i go back next wednesday and we'll see how things are going then. he also said i can go to physical therapy for my back if i feel like i need to, so i'm going to give the place my OB recommended a call and see what their hours are like. all good news here, and even more so that i'm now sitting in a cafe drinking a decaf latte while i wait for an early dinner with the hubby before our childbirth class. it made more sense than going home and having to get back to this part of the neighborhood later today, AND it's a super big treat for me. yippee. :)
Monday, August 6, 2012
30 Weeks! (1wk, 5 days of bed rest)
30 weeks feels like a huge milestone. Even though October still feels far away, 10 more weeks of pregnancy (give or take) certainly doesn't. I feel the baby swimming around in there all day long -- what once felt like a little fish is now most definitely a sea monster -- and I realize that soon he'll be here. Though hopefully not TOO soon.
Going on two weeks of bed rest and I'm still not miserable. Being allowed to move around a little bit really helps... I just hope we don't go back to the doctor on Wednesday to find out there's been a drastic change and get converted back to strict bed rest. I haven't been taking advantage of my modified status, i don't think. I try only to leave the house every other day, and I haven't gone far other than my doctor appointments, for which I've been supplementing bus travel with a car service at least one way (uphill. My neighborhood is one big, well, slope). I have plenty to keep me busy, and I've thankfully had a lot of friends visiting. It also seems that the hubby's crazed work load is dropping, as is typical for august, and it's a whole lot nicer being home with him than sitting here by myself.
My back pain has been the biggest complaint. I have learned through two controlled studies that it's the superdrug, Indomethacin, that I take in small doses as an anti-labor precaution that nearly eliminates the pain. It happened when I first started the meds, but then the back pain came back with a vengeance when i cycled off of that one. Now I'm taking it just on weekends, and man, did my back feel awesome this weekend! But I took my last dose at midnight so I'm expecting that reprieve will end soon. Moving around a bit does help, so if I keep that up as much as I can, along with periodic use of a heating pad, hopefully I can ward off the excruciating times. I am pretty sure it's sciatic nerve pain, which happens with pregnant women and will likely go away as soon as the baby comes. My regular OB gave me a referral for physical therapy that i'm going to run by the high risk doc. It's fairly close to home (four blocks away) so it should be doable.
All in all, if we're looking at three - MAYBE four - more weeks of this and then everything is a-ok (other than being 8/9 months pregnant and huge and uncomfortable) I think I will make it through unscathed. I know it will all be worth it. Holding steady.
Going on two weeks of bed rest and I'm still not miserable. Being allowed to move around a little bit really helps... I just hope we don't go back to the doctor on Wednesday to find out there's been a drastic change and get converted back to strict bed rest. I haven't been taking advantage of my modified status, i don't think. I try only to leave the house every other day, and I haven't gone far other than my doctor appointments, for which I've been supplementing bus travel with a car service at least one way (uphill. My neighborhood is one big, well, slope). I have plenty to keep me busy, and I've thankfully had a lot of friends visiting. It also seems that the hubby's crazed work load is dropping, as is typical for august, and it's a whole lot nicer being home with him than sitting here by myself.
My back pain has been the biggest complaint. I have learned through two controlled studies that it's the superdrug, Indomethacin, that I take in small doses as an anti-labor precaution that nearly eliminates the pain. It happened when I first started the meds, but then the back pain came back with a vengeance when i cycled off of that one. Now I'm taking it just on weekends, and man, did my back feel awesome this weekend! But I took my last dose at midnight so I'm expecting that reprieve will end soon. Moving around a bit does help, so if I keep that up as much as I can, along with periodic use of a heating pad, hopefully I can ward off the excruciating times. I am pretty sure it's sciatic nerve pain, which happens with pregnant women and will likely go away as soon as the baby comes. My regular OB gave me a referral for physical therapy that i'm going to run by the high risk doc. It's fairly close to home (four blocks away) so it should be doable.
All in all, if we're looking at three - MAYBE four - more weeks of this and then everything is a-ok (other than being 8/9 months pregnant and huge and uncomfortable) I think I will make it through unscathed. I know it will all be worth it. Holding steady.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
bed rest, continued
after a week of strict bed rest, i went back to the doctor today and my cervix length is stable. she measured it three times and got a range of 2.4 - 2.6, which is considered the same as the 2.5 they got last week. not the best news we could have hoped for (that the one medication, indomethacin, was able to rebuild it), but definitely good news that it's not continuing to shorten.
the other good news, in my opinion, was the the doctor was pretty relaxed and confident about things moving forward, and that he gave me a long-term plan. even though i know if something changes drastically that this "plan" will be scrapped, i feel SO much better being able to think more long-term. the week-by-week "see what happens" scenario is not comfortable for me at all. but the doctor said we are really only concerned about the next 4-5 weeks. after i'm 33 or 34 weeks along he's comfortable letting me resume my normal activity and if the baby comes early, so be it. he said there's a possibility that i'll still carry to full-term, but at least by 34 weeks if the baby shows up there won't be any major concerns. especially since the baby is currently measuring at the 67th percentile (3lb, 5oz), and any increased size/development is helpful if he does decide to arrive prematurely.
so until that time, i need to stay on the procardia twice a day as i have been, and build in small doses of the indomethacin (just on weekends, for now) since there are possible dangers to the baby if you take that medication for more than small amounts of time. i also need to stay on a somewhat modified model of bed rest. he said i should still lay down as much as possible, for most of the day. but i can get up and do some small things around the house, and i can even go out to eat or something close to home as long as i don't do a lot of walking. i'll go back every week to make sure things are holding stable.
the week that i'm supposed to go back to work will be week 33 for me. he said there's a chance i'll be able to work that week, or at least part of the week. worst case is i miss that first week and then i can go back when i'm at 34 weeks. again, not ideal, but not a bad situation at all when i was imagining not being able to go back at all until the spring.
this is really ok with me. obviously i'd rather be doing fun summer things and accomplishing all of the things around the house that need to be done before the baby arrives. but at least now i know that's just not going to happen. no more waiting to see and feeling like i'm twiddling my thumbs. now i can plan for what needs to be done, get help where needed, and get over the disappointment that i won't be able to really live it up in these last weeks before parenthood begins. i'm thankful that i did have some fun this summer while i could! i traveled, i went to a concert, i saw some movies, went to some cookouts. now i have this baby to look forward to, and i really am very excited for that part of life to begin.
in less good news, my back pain has returned. i think the indomethacin helped it to feel better, but i can't take it all the time so i guess i may just have to deal with it. i described it to the doctor and he agreed with my internet-researched assumption that it's sciatic nerve pain, which isn't a concern in terms of being a labor symptom. it's almost definitely related to the pregnancy; often in the third trimester the baby's weight can cause this nerve in your lower back to become pinched or squeezed. but it's not a danger... just an annoyance. sometimes it's just awful, other times it's manageable. there doesn't seem to be any pattern or anything i can do about it. i'm hoping being able to move around a little bit more will help me be able to stretch it out a bit. but if that's the worst i have to worry about right now, i'll take it.
my parents are coming down in a week or so to lend a hand with the baby prep and also to bring some gifts that they've collected since my postponed baby shower and just keep me company. it is going to be such a huge help. and i have so many wonderful friends that have already started (and i know will continue) to visit, call, offer help, and cheer me up in general. it's not the way i imagined my pregnancy, but so far the only sure thing about this entire process is that nothing at all has happened the way that i imagined it would. but it's almost over, and even my crazy paranoid high risk doctor says there's nothing to worry about. it's all going to be fine.
the other good news, in my opinion, was the the doctor was pretty relaxed and confident about things moving forward, and that he gave me a long-term plan. even though i know if something changes drastically that this "plan" will be scrapped, i feel SO much better being able to think more long-term. the week-by-week "see what happens" scenario is not comfortable for me at all. but the doctor said we are really only concerned about the next 4-5 weeks. after i'm 33 or 34 weeks along he's comfortable letting me resume my normal activity and if the baby comes early, so be it. he said there's a possibility that i'll still carry to full-term, but at least by 34 weeks if the baby shows up there won't be any major concerns. especially since the baby is currently measuring at the 67th percentile (3lb, 5oz), and any increased size/development is helpful if he does decide to arrive prematurely.
so until that time, i need to stay on the procardia twice a day as i have been, and build in small doses of the indomethacin (just on weekends, for now) since there are possible dangers to the baby if you take that medication for more than small amounts of time. i also need to stay on a somewhat modified model of bed rest. he said i should still lay down as much as possible, for most of the day. but i can get up and do some small things around the house, and i can even go out to eat or something close to home as long as i don't do a lot of walking. i'll go back every week to make sure things are holding stable.
the week that i'm supposed to go back to work will be week 33 for me. he said there's a chance i'll be able to work that week, or at least part of the week. worst case is i miss that first week and then i can go back when i'm at 34 weeks. again, not ideal, but not a bad situation at all when i was imagining not being able to go back at all until the spring.
this is really ok with me. obviously i'd rather be doing fun summer things and accomplishing all of the things around the house that need to be done before the baby arrives. but at least now i know that's just not going to happen. no more waiting to see and feeling like i'm twiddling my thumbs. now i can plan for what needs to be done, get help where needed, and get over the disappointment that i won't be able to really live it up in these last weeks before parenthood begins. i'm thankful that i did have some fun this summer while i could! i traveled, i went to a concert, i saw some movies, went to some cookouts. now i have this baby to look forward to, and i really am very excited for that part of life to begin.
in less good news, my back pain has returned. i think the indomethacin helped it to feel better, but i can't take it all the time so i guess i may just have to deal with it. i described it to the doctor and he agreed with my internet-researched assumption that it's sciatic nerve pain, which isn't a concern in terms of being a labor symptom. it's almost definitely related to the pregnancy; often in the third trimester the baby's weight can cause this nerve in your lower back to become pinched or squeezed. but it's not a danger... just an annoyance. sometimes it's just awful, other times it's manageable. there doesn't seem to be any pattern or anything i can do about it. i'm hoping being able to move around a little bit more will help me be able to stretch it out a bit. but if that's the worst i have to worry about right now, i'll take it.
my parents are coming down in a week or so to lend a hand with the baby prep and also to bring some gifts that they've collected since my postponed baby shower and just keep me company. it is going to be such a huge help. and i have so many wonderful friends that have already started (and i know will continue) to visit, call, offer help, and cheer me up in general. it's not the way i imagined my pregnancy, but so far the only sure thing about this entire process is that nothing at all has happened the way that i imagined it would. but it's almost over, and even my crazy paranoid high risk doctor says there's nothing to worry about. it's all going to be fine.
Friday, July 27, 2012
bed rest, day 3
i'm actually not bored yet.
the truth is that i have a million things that i can do while sitting on my butt in front of a computer. my summer prep for the new school year alone could keep me busy for the entire week (not that i've devoted much time to that yet... but i think i will). it sucks to know that my entire family is currently together in my hometown getting ready for my cousin's wedding today, and that my carefully planned and totally surprise baby shower scheduled for sunday has been indefinitely postponed. but i have no doubt that i made the right choice, and being here relaxing really isn't all that bad.
yet.
i've been most surprised/pleased by the change in how i feel. for the three or four days before i went to the doctor this week i had been plagued by what i just assumed was third trimester discomfort. my body ached all over and every time i had to get up or even change position i felt like i was doing some kind of olympic-level exercise. but worst of all was my back. out of nowhere over the weekend i started having excruciating lower back pain, like i've never felt before. i didn't think twice about it at the time (seemed like fairly normal pregnancy stuff to me), but within hours of starting the medications it went away... completely.
it's hard to say how much the bed rest contributed, but i do know that before the past couple of days sitting down and especially laying back was the absolutely least comfortable thing i could possibly do. i was doing it quite a bit anyway, because my back hurt so much that moving around was painful, too, and after being active during the day all i wanted to do was NOT MOVE in the afternoon/evening. i told the hubby that bed rest might kill me mostly because the position the doctor most wanted me to be in (reclined with my legs up on the couch) was like hell on earth for me. the past few days i'd mostly been sitting straight up in a chair for support, or laying on my side. not that it helped that much.
but i kid you not, by wednesday night (having taken only one dose of one medication) the pain was starting to subside. by yesterday morning it was totally, 100% gone. all my aches, all the back pain... gone. yes, i was also on bed rest during that time, but i don't think my downtime from 3pm until noon the following day was all that different than what it had been in previous days. i really think the medication is what brought the relief, which makes me wonder... is it just because of its anti-inflammatory properties? or could my pain have actually been pre-labor symptoms? it's possible, from what i've read. while some back pain is normal during pregnancy, it seems that sudden and severe back pain that doesn't go away no matter what can be a more serious concern.
either way, i'm clearly thrilled to be feeling better. i can (though, of course, i'm not allowed to) move around like i was a couple weeks ago, feeling mostly like myself instead of a gigantic, unwieldy ball of pain. i'm hoping that perhaps this means that my cervix has been responding to true labor symptoms in my body that the medication was able to stop, thus allowing me to go about my life while staying on the meds for the next couple of months. that would be quite lovely. nothing to do but wait and see what the doctor says on wednesday. until then... maybe it's nap time.
the truth is that i have a million things that i can do while sitting on my butt in front of a computer. my summer prep for the new school year alone could keep me busy for the entire week (not that i've devoted much time to that yet... but i think i will). it sucks to know that my entire family is currently together in my hometown getting ready for my cousin's wedding today, and that my carefully planned and totally surprise baby shower scheduled for sunday has been indefinitely postponed. but i have no doubt that i made the right choice, and being here relaxing really isn't all that bad.
yet.
i've been most surprised/pleased by the change in how i feel. for the three or four days before i went to the doctor this week i had been plagued by what i just assumed was third trimester discomfort. my body ached all over and every time i had to get up or even change position i felt like i was doing some kind of olympic-level exercise. but worst of all was my back. out of nowhere over the weekend i started having excruciating lower back pain, like i've never felt before. i didn't think twice about it at the time (seemed like fairly normal pregnancy stuff to me), but within hours of starting the medications it went away... completely.
it's hard to say how much the bed rest contributed, but i do know that before the past couple of days sitting down and especially laying back was the absolutely least comfortable thing i could possibly do. i was doing it quite a bit anyway, because my back hurt so much that moving around was painful, too, and after being active during the day all i wanted to do was NOT MOVE in the afternoon/evening. i told the hubby that bed rest might kill me mostly because the position the doctor most wanted me to be in (reclined with my legs up on the couch) was like hell on earth for me. the past few days i'd mostly been sitting straight up in a chair for support, or laying on my side. not that it helped that much.
but i kid you not, by wednesday night (having taken only one dose of one medication) the pain was starting to subside. by yesterday morning it was totally, 100% gone. all my aches, all the back pain... gone. yes, i was also on bed rest during that time, but i don't think my downtime from 3pm until noon the following day was all that different than what it had been in previous days. i really think the medication is what brought the relief, which makes me wonder... is it just because of its anti-inflammatory properties? or could my pain have actually been pre-labor symptoms? it's possible, from what i've read. while some back pain is normal during pregnancy, it seems that sudden and severe back pain that doesn't go away no matter what can be a more serious concern.
either way, i'm clearly thrilled to be feeling better. i can (though, of course, i'm not allowed to) move around like i was a couple weeks ago, feeling mostly like myself instead of a gigantic, unwieldy ball of pain. i'm hoping that perhaps this means that my cervix has been responding to true labor symptoms in my body that the medication was able to stop, thus allowing me to go about my life while staying on the meds for the next couple of months. that would be quite lovely. nothing to do but wait and see what the doctor says on wednesday. until then... maybe it's nap time.
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