Gear

now that i am a parent with a whopping five weeks of experience to draw upon, i can reflect on the baby gear that we acquired (and didn't) for this newborn and hopefully offer some insight to other prospective parents. as everyone knows, the baby industrial complex is enormous, and every store and magazine and website would lead you to believe that you need every single item that comes out of baby gear factories in order to be a successful parent. i knew this wasn't true, and i intend to document my findings throughout this process.

STROLLERS
here's my biggest regret so far. i followed the beaten path when it came to strollers and didn't really do any of my own thinking/research. for some reason i trusted the six zillion other parents in my yuppie neighborhood and got what EVERYONE has: a snap & go carseat/stroller system for the newborn, and a regular stroller for when he's six months or so and older. (the city mini, obviously, which is the stroller of choice in our neighborhood.)

so here's the thing: the snap & go system is not made for real stroller usage. i can see if you're a suburbanite and just need something to wheel around target or use on vacation or whatever. but this thing is not cut out for living the city life. the shocks are terrible. it barely makes turns around regular street corners. it SUCKS. i feel like i'm giving my baby a concussion every time i use it. the ONLY advantage i can see to having this system is if you want to be able to carry a sleeping baby in the car seat from car/house to "stroller" to another destination or back home again. this, honestly, is what i envisioned when i registered for it: we'd go out to dinner at a tiny restaurant or over to a friend's house and want to leave the baby in the car seat and fold up the stroller base and put it aside. not only hasn't this happened, i don't see that it ever will. i nearly always use a baby carrier when i take him out right now. it's much easier than dealing with the stroller. when he gets bigger this might change... but by then he will have most likely outgrown the infant car seat and stroller system anyway! i wish we'd just gotten the car seat (required by law and we'll need it for trips/rental cars anyway) and the city mini.

one more tip about that -- people will tell you that in order to use the city mini with an infant who can't hold his head up that you need to buy a $60 adapter that allows you to put the car seat on the city mini like you would on the snap & go frame. my research has shown me that this is also unnecessary (unless you really want to keep the baby in the car seat, like i said before. i do not.). the city mini's seat reclines so far back that you can lay a newborn down inside totally safely. and, if you really want to amp up the support, you can simply buy one of these cozy things for added security. i just ordered that yesterday and we will be switching to the city mini for our stroller needs as soon as i get it in the mail.

UPDATE: 12/5/2012 we received the Snuzzler and have used it successfully with the citi mini. the babe seems to love being able to see what's happening around him on our walks, and i love that the stroller can actually navigate city streets. we even took it off-roading in the park yesterday.

UPDATE: 5/24/2013 the babe is 7.5 months old now and we are still loving the city mini, though personally it's not my transportation mode of choice (i'm really partial to the Ergo carrier... more below). we've folded it up in order to travel by bus/subway only a couple of times, and that is not a lot of fun (nor is it really possible for one person to do without serious annoyance). we will be investing in a lightweight umbrella stroller for this purpose. (possibly the uppa baby g-lite, which is well-reviewed by other moms in my neighborhood.)

CHANGING TABLE
we have a small apartment and didn't want a uni-tasker piece of furniture, so we got a dresser that is the appropriate height for the baby to be changed on top of it. we put the changing pad on top and voila -- changing table. it's perfect. also -- we don't use a cover on the changing pad. ever. what a freakin' silly thing to do unless you're a person who likes doing laundry even more than i do. he pees and poops all over the changing pad every time we change him, so i just put a cloth diaper under him and throw that in the wash when needed. the changing pad is waterproof and wipes clean in two seconds. i wouldn't do it any other way.

UPDATE: 5/24/2013 i still wouldn't alter our changing table method, but over the past month or so the changing pad has started acquiring some small tears. no big deal, especially since we cover it with prefold diapers for the babe to lay on -- and because they cost all of $15 if we want to replace it -- but i did want to note that.

DIAPER GENIE
didn't get it and glad we didn't. totally unnecessary. we have a small trash can with a foot-operated lid next to the "changing table" and it's perfect.

BABY CARRIERS
as i said above, i am using a baby carrier far more often than a stroller right now. i plan to continue this trend as much as i can, because dealing with strollers seems really annoying... both for the person using it and the people around her. there are a zillion carriers out there and from what i can tell so far it's a personal decision for mom/dad and baby what works well. and who knows -- it may change as baby gets bigger.

- i am obsessed with my ergo. there is an infant insert that you can buy to use the ergo with a newborn, but i read reviews online and didn't buy it and i'm glad i didn't. seems totally unnecessary to me. instead, i just bundle the baby up in a blanket and stick him inside, and it works perfectly. now, if you have a smaller baby this might not be as effective. but with my big boy who can sort of already hold his head up, it's just fine.

- i also inherited a new native baby sling, which is also great. i mostly use this around the house. i took him out in it once and -- it might be a coincidence -- he got super fussy after a couple hours. i think the position he was in might not be super comfy for long. but inside i've manipulated him in a bunch of different positions and he seems to like it.

UPDATE: 12/5/2012 i'm a bit confused about the sizing of the new native sling. as the baby gets bigger, he just seems totally cramped in there. so i bought a different kind of sling, a "ring sling," because i was enjoying that option especially in the house and people talked about liking the ring variety. the maya wrap is the most popular, but is stupid expensive, so i bought the lite on shoulder sling instead. so far i've had a tough time figuring out how to manipulate it, but there are a lot of videos online that i am perusing in my spare time (ha) and i am hopeful that this will be another carrier in our rotation. he has slept in it several times when i've been doing dishes or eating dinner or something, which is lovely. (he has also screamed and totally freaked out other times i've attempted to put him in it. so.)

- i have tried mostly unsuccessfully to use the moby wrap, which i also got from a friend. i want to use it and love it, i really do. we'll see if that happens.

- we were given a baby bjorn that we've never even tried to use. seems way too complicated to me.

UPDATE: 5/24/2013 we are primarily an Ergo family. nothing else has really worked for us, but we love the Ergo so much. we used it exclusively on a ten day trip to paris. i can't say enough good about it. i've done a lot of reading about the benefits of having the baby facing your body rather than facing outwards -- which was a big reason i wanted a different kind of carrier for awhile -- and it makes sense to me to stick with the Ergo.

CHAIRS/SWINGS
we didn't register for anything in this category because of our small apartment problem. i figured if we ended up with a baby who seemed to need something of this nature that we'd worry about it then. a friend gave me a bumbo seat, which can't be used until he can hold his head up, so i'll update on that at a later date. but she also gave us a vibrating rocking chair, similar to this. THAT has been a godsend and i'm actually not sure what i thought we'd be doing with the baby all the time when i imagined not having anything like this around. we don't use the vibrating feature. in fact, it doesn't even have batteries in it for that or the sound. but he sits in it, and we rock him, and sometimes he falls asleep in it and other times he just chills out and looks around. it's great. i love it. when he gets bigger he can rock it himself (he does that accidentally sometimes right now and it's pretty funny), and it can also be converted to different reclining angles and to a non-rocking chair by adjusting the legs. so glad we have this. highly recommended.

we don't have a swing. he would probably like one, but he's doing just fine without it.

UPDATE: 5/24/2013 i would like to state again how incredibly dumb i was to think we didn't need a little chair/rocker for the babe. we have since purchased a new infant-to-toddler rocker so we could take the older one to my parents' house and have the new one at home. as he's getting bigger it's even more useful to have a spot for him to chill out. we need to buckle him in now so he doesn't topple out (we never did when he was smaller) but he loves his little chair, and it should fit him until he's a toddler when he can sit in it like a normal chair and put his feet on the floor. LOVE it.

EXERSAUCERS, ETC.
we didn't register for anything like this and i wasn't sure what, if anything, along these lines we would get. when the babe was around four months old i knew we needed something other than the little chair (see above) because he needed to be able to sit up and use his legs. after a ton of research, i chose the fisher price step & play piano because a) it's musical, which i love; and b) it's convertible as they get older. before the baby can stand or walk, there's a little seat for him to sit in, spin around in, and play with the toys. then you can take the seat out so he can practice standing and, eventually, walking. toddlers can (and do) still play with it because it's accessible once you're walking (i've seen this with little visitors to our house). the babe LOVES it and i know we'll get lots more use out of it.

however, the one disadvantage to this over other exersaucers is the lack of a jumper feature. i didn't realize how much he wanted to jump until we took him to a friend's house and he spent a good half an hour wide-eyed, laughing and jumping in their little exersaucer/jumper. so when he was about six months old we ordered this graco doorway jumper. he really, really, really loves jumping, and i've seen such a difference in the strength and stability in his legs since we got it. so all in all, right now (he's 7 months old) we have three "stations" that he spends time in: his little rocker/chair, his musical chair, and his jumper. all three offer different advantages and the combination gives him varied positions and experiences throughout the day. now that he's sitting up on his own, we also just plop him on the floor on a blanket and give him some toys, which works. or he sits on the couch with us... though that will change whenever he starts crawling.

BASSINET
we got the arm's reach co-sleeper bassinet, which is another one of those things that everyone in this city seems to have gotten. we bought it used for half the price, which was key since you only use it for a few months. it's working out spectacularly for us. he sleeps in it every night and i love that it attaches to the bed and that he's sleeping right next to me without actually being in the bed. i know people who never used it... not sure what they did instead. this thing rocks.

SWADDLES
i have swaddled other babies using regular swaddling blankets. we got a few of them. but what we've actually been using for this seemingly exceptionally squirmy and strong baby of ours are the velcro variety. Summer Infant and Kiddopotamus both make good ones. i got a whole bunch of hand-me-downs from friends and didn't think i'd use them, but it's all we use and we use them EVERY night. it's the only way he'll sleep in the bassinet. fantastic invention, let me tell you. we also have some sleep sacks, but haven't used those yet.

UPDATE: 12/5/2012 we've now used the sleep sack a couple of times, mostly because he has been busting out of the small size velcro swaddle and isn't big enough yet for the next size up. however, the sleep sack is also a bit large (small size fits 3-6 months; he wears some 3mo size but not all) and this is actually a serious safety hazard, i learned. because it's two separate pieces (the sack and the wrap that swaddles his arms) when he wiggles his arms enough, he can push the wrap up and over his face. i woke up hearing him fussing and turned in horror to see that his entire face was covered by the fabric! obviously he did not suffocate and it wasn't tight enough to do so, probably, but it was enough for me not to put this back on him until i'm sure it really fits. or never again, possibly.

UPDATE: 5/24/2013 we stopped swaddling the babe when he was around three months old. it seemed to be frustrating him more than it was helping at that point and he's been fine ever since.

PACIFIERS
i don't believe in forcing every baby to use a pacifier, but i knew that some babies are really comforted by them. i bought a few different kinds because i read that different babies have different preferences, and the only one he will use right now is the phillips avent "soothie." some days he loves it, other days he wants nothing to do with it. i'm glad we have it on hand as a trick up our sleeve.

UPDATE: he's now mostly using the same type of pacifier, but one that's attached to a stuffed animal; this one, in particular. i thought it was just a cute gimmick but the weight of the animal actually helps keep it in his mouth, especially when he's laying on his back in his bassinet. he has also started to try to grab the stuffed animal to hold it in his mouth himself, which isn't totally successful yet but shows initiative.

UPDATE: 5/24/2013 before he was four months old, pacifier use was inconsistent. sometimes it calmed him down, sometimes not. it wasn't an every day thing and i actually thought it wouldn't become part of our regular routine. but when i went back to work, our nanny used it as a sleep strategy and it has worked wonders in getting the babe into a nap and nighttime sleep routine. that's the only time he uses a pacifier -- i don't want it to become a habit outside of sleep and it helps for him to associate it with sleepytime. sometimes he falls asleep quickly without it, but a lot of the time we pop it into his mouth, he sucks for a few minutes, falls asleep, and it falls out. the end. oh, and the animal pacifier became more annoying once he really started paying attention to (and getting distracted by) everything -- around five months.

BURP CLOTHS
i am of the opinion that you cannot have too many burp cloths with a baby around, particularly if you are breastfeeding. i like to have at least one in every room of the house, plus many extras to replace those when they get nasty (which happens multiple times per day). i have a few different kinds but recently go these aden & anais "burpy bibs" given to me and they are phenomenal. i want to replace all my other ones with these. they are exactly the right size, shape, material, and weight to just throw over your shoulder or tuck into the front of your top when nursing without any hassle. plus they have little snaps on the edges so you can use them for full wrap-around bibs. they are genius. i can't say enough about them. they might be my favorite baby thing of all. well, other than the baby.

that's all the gear we're using right now. i will update this post over time as i glean any other knowledge about the myriad things we have filling up the baby's room...