37 weeks... any day now!!! or not.

last week i had a sense that the baby was lower and wasn't sure if he'd actually "dropped" into true birth position. well, all that changed over the weekend. i have now joined the club of pregnant ladies who absolutely knew it when the baby dropped, and it wasn't all that pleasant.

friday i was much more achy and uncomfortable than i have been, but blamed it on a long(ish) work week and my general lack of energy. saturday this continued, along with way more contractions and pressure than i've felt so far. the contractions still made me feel nauseated, but they were way worse (i basically felt like i was going to puke or poop all the time) and then i had these cramps that radiated down my thigh. which seemed really strange. i started to get nervous that i was actually going into labor. THEN i realized that the baby was moving more than i've felt him move in weeks, since before he got too big for his acrobatics. i couldn't figure out what was the precursor to what: was he moving because of the crazy contractions? or was his movement causing the crazy contractions? i was actually a little nervous that he was in distress or something and was flailing around helplessly in there... but my gut said he was ok... i just needed to wait it out and see what the heck was going on.

by saturday night i was pretty sure i could tell what was happening. he had definitely shifted. the lump that i've learned is his butt and the large, flat surface that i know is his back -- which i've felt off to the side of my belly button for weeks -- were suddenly front and center, right behind my belly button. and his leg kicks had shifted down a bit and more towards the back of my uterus rather than right up in my ribcage. my whole belly had changed shape: i could see that it was sitting much lower than it had been, and protruding out farther as his body now seemed to be totally vertical. and it felt like i had a bowling ball inside of me. the increasing heaviness i've felt for months was nothing compared to this sensation. every movement was like a herculean feat. this, i've read, is exactly what women say it feels like when the baby drops so that his head is actually engaged in the pelvis where it needs to be to start labor.

my doctor confirmed yesterday that this is pretty certainly what happened. she could feel that his positioning had changed and said it seemed like his head was down in my pelvis now, meaning that he is ready for the big show! she also said i'm a little bit more dilated than i was last week, which still isn't much but is a sign of progress; it at least indicates that my body is also preparing and will likely continue to do so and be able to handle a normal vaginal birth. of course there's no way to know when i will actually go into labor. at this point it could be any day... or not. when i left the OB's office she said, "See you next week! If not sooner!" but... there's no guarantee of anything at this point.

i go to the high risk doc on friday and i know they'll do an ultrasound and also a growth assessment. i'm not sure if they'll have any more insight on when the big day will actually be. i'm hoping for next week, i think. i'd like to get through this week and the weekend (when i think the hubby has a birthday surprise planned for me) but i'd really like not to wait until my actual due date in 2 1/2 weeks, if only because i can't imagine how much more uncomfortable i can get and i think the baby will be a giant by then. but i guess we'll just have to wait and see. it is exciting to know that the time is close, for real. and, of course, that everything seems to be happening as it should. i'm also feeling good about the fact that (right now, at least) i feel really in touch with my body and the baby. i'm glad i was able to discern what was happening over the weekend and i hope that means i will have a good sense of how things progress from here on out. i've asked the baby numerous times to hold off on making his entrance until after this week, so i'm going to trust that he heard me on that.

for now i'm trying to be productive at work (though my colleagues are all totally freaked out that i'm here and are developing strategic plans in case i go into labor at school) and get as much done as i can. it's getting harder and harder to focus on work. things are home are squared away: i got my flu shot, finished packing the hospital bag, and have everything else in order that i can possibly think of. so now it's really just the waiting game. i am so excited to meet the little guy. soon!!!

36 weeks, 4 days

another week down! life is turning into a blur of waiting around for this baby, in spite of my best efforts to keep busy. which i am! but still... distracted. it doesn't help that a good portion of my busyness is going to various doctor appointments. i am on an every-week basis with both the regular OB and the high risk OB now, and i can't keep my schedule straight at all (i can't keep most things straight right now). i mostly feel like every time i turn around i'm going to another appointment.

monday i went to the regular OB. my doula and the hubby came with me, just to chat about our birth preferences and labor and whatnot. she took some cultures to test me for the Strep Group B virus (about 1/3 of women carry it and have to have antibiotics during labor to keep from passing it to the baby) and some other stuff. she also did a vaginal exam to check my cervix, which she said is "nice and soft," but not really dilated yet. she said 1cm, if that. which can change fairly quickly, or not. as of today i'm off the anti-contraction medication; if the meds have been doing their job, i shouldn't have been able to have the type of contractions that actually cause you to dilate. so we shall see!

yesterday i went to the high risk OB, and everything is still great with the baby. the doctor said, "this baby is about ready!" i think he's a bit lower than he was before, based on where i feel him kicking and moving (and butting his head against my cervix), though i'm not sure if he's officially "dropped" into birth position. some people say you can tell when that happens, but who knows. they're switching me to a different blood thinner medication, since the one i've been on (Lovenox) isn't safe for labor. you can't have any other kind of medication if the Lovenox is still in your system, and even though i don't *plan* to have any during labor, we all know that can change. so i'll start on Heparin instead, beginning next week. it's a two-times per day injection and one that i have to draw out of the vial myself like my old fertility meds. ugh.

otherwise everything is the same. i need to get a flu shot, since they say that's a smart thing to do to protect the baby since it's super dangerous for them to get the flu when they're so little. we have some other little odds and ends to take care of but mostly we're ready. i feel pretty good. still tired, but trying to be more active now that i'm okay with the onset of labor happening in a reasonable time. still trying to be productive at work, though the more time passes the more silly it feels because time is just dwindling before my leave.

it's gotten to the point now when i hear hopeful expectation in the voice of everyone i call on the phone, as if any call could be the "i'm in labor call." which makes me chuckle. i have to keep reminding people that we could still have another month! in theory. i really don't know what to expect. i know it could happen at any time... or not. which is hard for me to deal with. it's one thing for something less monumental to be unpredictable, but really... more warning for this kind of major life change would be appreciated. ah, well. nothing i can do but wait.

35 weeks, 5 days... one month til EDD!

i realized this morning that one month from today is my due date, which felt both impossibly weird and really exciting at the same time. i promptly texted my acupuncturist to set up some sessions in weeks 37/38... i am going to try everything i can to get labor going on its own and not take after my mother in delivering her first baby (me) ten days late. and 9 1/2 lbs. bring on the eggplant, celery, long walks, and (gods willing) sex. i can't wait.

but i'm going to wait one more week. my doctor told me i could stop taking the anti-labor meds at 36 1/2 weeks, so i'm going to take them until next friday (just over 36 1/2 weeks) just to make sure i get through next week at work. i know there's no guarantee of anything, but the ultrasound tech told me at my last visit that she was on the same meds as i am and she went into labor the day after she stopped taking them at 37 1/2 weeks. i have had a super productive (and exhausting) week at work and need one more of those to feel like i've gotten all my proverbial ducks in a row before there's a chance of this baby making an appearance.

but by monday the 24th, all bets are off. i'll be 37 weeks, chances are this baby will weigh 7 pounds already (if he doesn't now... i'll find out at my appointment later today) (and yes, i know those estimates are often way off), and as far as i'm concerned he can show up whenever he wants. though, in truth, i'd prefer he wait until after my birthday on the 26th so i can enjoy a cupcake in peace.

here in the end of pregnancy things are going okay. i feel mostly fine, other than being tired. my feet are still hopelessly swollen when the weather is humid. they're mildly swollen on other days. but they don't bother me when it's not humid out (other than looking disgusting), so that's a bonus with the fall weather coming on. i'm still sleeping well, waking up a couple of times to pee but falling right back to sleep. i've started having some contractions on and off, which are mostly just uncomfortable. i am no longer constipated (not surprisingly, being off bedrest and actually being able to move around did wonders for that problem) but i will say i still have days when i'm... poo-challenged. still taking metamucil and colace every day; not quite ready to take the risk of giving that up. my lower back hurts occasionally, especially if i make the mistake of carrying a bag on one shoulder. it's nothing like the sciatica, and i've switched to a mini-backpack straight out of the 90s, which has basically eliminated the issue while also demolishing any fashion sense i might have tried to pretend i still have.

oh, and did i mention that i'm gigantic? i feel more baby than person now. i've outgrown a lot of my maternity clothes, which doesn't seem right. aren't they made for this specifically??? my belly just keeps getting bigger and bigger. the rest of me is still mostly the same. i can see a little added roundness in my face, arms, and legs, but i'm not sure how noticeable it is to anyone else. i'm pretty much just an enormous expanding belly. it's all people see when they look at me... i am starting to feel like i don't even have a face anymore. it is a very bizarre way to walk through the world. i actually can't imagine how i could get any bigger, but i know it's pretty much inevitable.

the hubby and i are trying to maximize these last few weeks and do things that we know we won't be able to do for awhile, like going out to eat outside of our neighborhood and seeing movies in the theatre. we have friends visiting this weekend and will do some fun stuff with them, and we've made more social plans for next week. sometimes it's hard to motivate myself because i'm so tired, but i know i will be glad that i got out and enjoyed post-bedrest, pre-baby life a bit. it's totally surreal to think about how much life is going to change -- suddenly -- so soon. but the excitement is outweighing the anxiety. we're almost there!

34 Weeks

that's the little guy who's causing all of this chaos in our life... hard to believe! we got some more 3D ultrasound pics at my 32 week appointment, which made him look much less mushy and alien-like than the previous ones. he's doing well, and growing fast. last week, at 33 weeks, he was measuring almost 36 weeks... 79th percentile in size and they estimate 5 1/2 pounds already. i was a huge baby when i was born (9 1/2 pounds) and the doctor told me that most women carry babies similar in size to the way their mothers did. seems weird, but appears to be true in my case. if we make it to 40 weeks, he could weigh almost 9 pounds! and if he happens to be late like i was... well, there you have it.

it's been awhile since i've written a post, which you can attribute to the fact that i am no longer on bed rest! the doc let me go back to work last week because my cervix was still relatively stable in measurement and at 33 weeks he really wasn't concerned about it anymore. i went back at the end of the week, after slaving away for four days (EXHAUSTING after weeks of doing nothing), and my cervix actually measured a bit longer: back up to 2.5! so he said i can pretty much go about my business. this week and next i'll continue to take it as easy as i can, but by the time i hit 36 weeks there are really no more concerns. though i'm not sure how much i will change my activity level then. i am already so, so tired and seemingly getting more and more enormous by the day. two weeks from now i will likely resemble a beached whale on my couch any free second i get.

other than the fatigue and overall body soreness, i am mostly feeling fine. my feet are still problematic in terms of swelling. obviously i don't have them elevated as much now that i'm up and around, and when they blow up they get quite uncomfortable. i'm hoping the weather will cool down a bit, as that seems to be an aggravating factor. but otherwise, honestly, i feel okay. i'm slow-moving and forgetful, but learning to cope. it's been great to be back at work... the time is moving much more quickly! i feel like the little guy will be here any minute.

but i hope it's not any minute. i desperately want to make it until the end of september. but at that point, i'm planning to put into action all the little tips and likely wives' tales i've ever heard about natural ways to induce labor. walking as much as i can, sex (hallelujah!), eating tons of celery and eggplant and whatever else crazy people think induces labor... 'cause i really don't want to be sitting around mid-october still waiting for him to get here.

the hubby and i feel ready... at least as ready as you can be. we know we're not totally prepared for the huge change in our life, but in terms of knowledge and gear and general preparation we've done all we can. now it's time to sit back and try to enjoy our last few weeks together as a twosome, which will be way more fun now that i'm not couch-bound. that said, i am very excited for the baby to arrive. i can't wait to meet him and to embark on this next stage of life. it's been a long time coming!