ready to rumble!

it's all happening... holy crow.

when you're doing IVF you're like a VIPatient, it seems. when i went to the doctor this morning i got to have one of the big guys, the associate director Dr. B., do the the ultrasound. he was really pleased with how everything looked. he estimated that i have around 10 appropriately-sized eggs, give or take a couple, and said that we should do my retrieval on monday!!! i think part of me wasn't quite letting myself believe that it would happen this time but now it seems to be a reality. i'm mostly excited, but also a tiny bit terrified. both because of the process itself and because it's just so intense... and there is no guarantee that all of it will be worth the ordeal. but i know it's the right thing for us right now and i am pretty sure i'm ready.

so - here's the logistics. Step 1: monday morning the hubby and i will go in at 6:30. we bring the sperm specimen just like we did with IUI. i'll be put under general anesthesia (ugh) and it should take them about an hour or so to take the eggs out of my ovaries with some kind of superlong needle. they said the length of the procedure depends on how many eggs they find when they get in there, but it should take around an hour. then i'll have to recover from the anesthesia and whatnot for a little bit, and then they'll send me home with the hubby. for the rest of that day i have to take it easy but as soon as i'm feeling alright i can get back to normal life.

Step 2: on monday after the retrieval, they'll fertilize the eggs with the specimen and see what happens with them over a couple of days. they watch them super closely and there are several ways they can intervene if things aren't happening normally. (they can inject the sperm right into an egg, for example.) i think, if i have enough good ones, they may keep some eggs to freeze for the future, and only try to fertilize a few this time. at this time i don't have to do anything, as it will all be happening in their lab. really weird to think about.

Step 3: then, when they have a few healthy fertilized eggs (hopefully!!!), they will do the transfer - which is when they put the fertilized egg or eggs back inside me and hope that it implants the way that it's supposed to. the number that they transfer varies a lot depending on the person and the situation, so we'll see. the number of days they wait before the transfer also varies. Dr. B. said given my age and the number of eggs (not young, and not numerous) they probably won't wait too long. it's sometimes advantageous to wait a bit so that the eggs reach a stage of development called blastocysts, when implantation is more likely. but there's also a risk that they won't make it that long. so his estimate at this point is that the transfer will happen on thursday next week, though it won't be definite until they see how the eggs are doing. the transfer procedure is quick and painless, but i will have to be on bedrest for 2-3 days afterward to allow the egg or eggs to hopefully implant.

so clearly there are still a lot of loose ends and things that can go wrong, but that's the basic way things *should* proceed. this weekend i will be continuing some of my injections: i do the same icky one i've been doing one last time tonight (Repronex) and then tomorrow morning i do the Ganirelix to make sure i don't ovulate early and the Gonal to keep the follicles developing. then tomorrow night i give myself the HcG injection (the ovulation trigger shot) at EXACTLY 6:30pm. the precise nature of all of this is still funny to me. sunday i don't take any drugs, but i have to douche that night! ewww! i've never done that before but i have to do it twice prior to the procedure. i'll certainly let you know how THAT goes. sunday night i can't eat after 11pm and monday morning... we're ready to roll.

90% excited, 10% scared right now. i'm just so glad it's finally time for the next step... let's hope we get to carry it all the way through and see what happens next.