it has been a trying week.

my friend and coworker, a fellow IVF-er who has supported me so much throughout this process, lost her baby on tuesday. she went into early labor and the baby wasn't viable. she lived for about an hour and then she passed. and now my friend, who thought she'd finally found success after years of fertility challenges, is back to square one. i have shed more tears over this than i thought possible. at this stage of the game for me, i just can't imagine the depths of what she's going through... but i know it is hell.

in the meantime, things are going pretty well for me this cycle. at least so far. when i went back to the doctor yesterday they were pleased with what they saw. the doc said it's hard to tell exactly how many follicles there are just from the ultrasound, but that there are definitely four or five good ones in my right ovary, and three in my left and she thought more would develop in my left. so i have stayed on the same meds these past couple of days (4 doses of Repronex and Ganirelix to keep me from ovulating) and i will go back in the morning to see how things look. i'm thinking they should schedule my retrieval pretty soon, assuming that everything is still progressing as it should be. i'm at day 11 of my cycle today, and i've had eight days of stimulation. i feel almost guilty being excited after everything that my friend has been through, but i think i'm starting to see just how unpredictable this fertility journey really is. it's even more complicated than i've lived so far. so i'm thankful for this optimistic upturn in my luck right now. one day at a time.