IVF, here we come

and it's official: i am not pregnant after round 4 of IUI, and we're beginning the IVF adventure.

there was a time when i never thought i'd be in this position. but now that i'm here, while it's overwhelming, i'm kind of excited to up our odds once again and see if we can make this work. don't get me wrong, i'm dreading the medication and the time i'm going to miss from work and everything else. but it's the next step, and i'm ready for the next step.

i've been taking the ovary-hostage drug since last week and it's pretty much given me a non-stop headache. i'm not even exaggerating. the number one side effect is headaches, and man... they weren't kidding. pain meds help a little bit, but it never actually goes away. the injection itself is easy and painless. i even gave it to myself while camping with 5th graders. no sweat. and of course i've been using the suppositories (ugh), same as always.

today i went back to the doctor for the pregnancy test and i really never even thought it would be positive. i'm not sure if it was just because it was round 4, or because i have my mind set on doing IVF because things are already rolling, but i was not expecting anything other than another big fat negative, which is exactly what i got. so now i stop the progesterone and continue the ganirelix (the ovary-hostage taker). when i get my period, which should be by wednesday or so, i go back in and they tell me what to do next.

it's just amazing how much time and energy this whole process takes... and i know IVF will be so much more intense than IUI has been. i've had nothing but drama since thursday with the insurance company. i've practically maxed out my "specialty" prescription benefit, which is a LIFETIME benefit (and who knows what qualifies as a "specialty" medication as opposed to regular). so that means i can't really order most of the drugs i'll need from the pharmacy anymore. instead, i will be buying them at discount from the doctor's office or trading in things that i already have for things that i need more. this morning i traded in ten of the follicle stimulating hormone for five more ganirelix, since that's what i need right now and they cost a bajillion dollars from the pharmacy. it has been so confusing -- i finally asked the doctor's office to call the insurance company and work it out so they have a handle on things now. now they'll just strategically place only orders for things that are still covered and not for things that i'll have to pay out of pocket. it's insane how much some of these things cost. for a two-week supply of one of the drugs it was going to cost me over $3000. yeah, you read that right. INSANE.

but hopefully the out of pocket costs for this first round won't far exceed the $5k we'll have to pay for the procedure itself. seems like we should be able to work all of that out this time. and if we have to make the decision to do it again, we'll have to weigh all of the costs as part of our decision-making. but either way that won't happen until next calendar year. honestly, the thought of having a break from all of this is as exciting as moving on to this next step. maybe more so. after this round of IVF, whatever the outcome, we're not doing anything except having plain old-fashioned sex until january. i can't wait.