cycle 3, day 26

i have felt like i am going to get my period for days now. cramps, sore, headaches, the whole package deal. today, realistically, is the first day it could have started, assuming i don't have some kind of super out-of-the-ordinary cycle going on. every second it doesn't show up, i get more and more hopeful. while i know we don't have much of a chance this month, i find myself with REALLY high hopes that are probably not a good thing. i can feel that i'm going to be really disappointed if it doesn't happen... mostly because my little "starting early" window has already closed! originally i wanted to have three months of serious trying to make sure i got pregnant by the end of the summer. now, here it is -- summer... and three months have almost already passed unsuccessfully. i know, and the hubby keeps reminding me, that we didn't do a very good job trying these past three months... especially this cycle. so i shouldn't be so forlorn. i know this. but this is really not a rational thought process! *sigh.* i expect if i don't get my period tonight that i will take a test when i wake up in the morning... also probably not the best idea (those things are not cheap!), but i'm going a little loopy.