got my period on saturday. this has been a rough one. not my period, i mean, but my emotional state. i'm doing okay, but it's definitely getting more difficult to go through this process. doesn't help that school's starting, so i just have much more on my plate. luckily i had therapy last week on the day i got the bad news, so i worked through some of my initial frustration. my therapist reminded me that i'm not obligated to continue on this path, that i do have some choice, and that i could just decide to skip a cycle or take a little break from all of this. in the end, i decided NOT to take a break... but something about the simple realization that i had the option made me feel so much better. sometimes i just feel like i'm spiraling through this mechanized process completely without agency, so it was nice to remember that i am still in charge of my body.
the good news is that i called the insurance company to find out how much of my 2011 $5k worth of benefits has already been used for the treatments thus far, and they've only billed $400 towards my fertility assistance benefits! i guess that's just been the IUI procedure itself, and all of the doctor visits and bloodwork have just fallen under my regular medical care. that was amazing news. i've also finally decided to get in touch with the supposed "miracle worker" acupuncturist in my neighborhood to give me an added boost, and something a little different to focus on as we move forward.
thus, i went to the doctor this morning to get things rolling. again. sigh. it's day 4, and this time there are no crazy early-developing follicles. (last cycle there was a fairly large follicle already formed on day 3.) the doctor said everything looked good, and she wanted to increase my medication this time around. so instead of one shot, i'll be giving myself two shots each night. and the doctor doesn't want to see me again until friday -- which makes sense in a normal cycle (day 7), but i was surprised given my early-ovulating history that they didn't want me to come in sooner. but. they're the experts. and, honestly, it's great that i won't be late to school on the first or second day with the students.
trying to stay positive, and even though i'm sleep-deprived and stressed out by back-to-school insanity, it's not bad to be distracted.
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