this isn't directly related to fertility, i suppose, but since i'm providing such helpful medical information on this blog i figured i'd also describe my afternoon getting a cardiac MRI.

it sucked.

i've had one MRI before, for both of my knees a few years ago when i blew them out with too much exercise. (i now maintain a much safer regimen of anti-exercise.) i went to a "stand-up MRI" place for that one, and essentially i dozed off while comfortably propped up in a piece of machinery akin to a heavy-duty plastic recliner. 45 minutes later, it was over. today was not so a) comfortable, b) easy, or c) short.

to refresh your memory, due to my childhood history of funny heart issues, the fertility doc sent me to a cardiologist to make sure that my ticker is all set for both the upcoming surgery and, potentially, pregnancy and childbirth. i had an echocardiogram and an EKG about a month ago, both of which revealed nothing. however, the cardiologist maintains that i have an irregular heartbeat, and since neither of those standard procedures showed any reason for this, he wanted me to have a cardiac MRI to see if we could learn anything more.

turns out that cardiac MRI technology is fairly new -- really only in use in the past five years or so -- and that my cardiologist is some sort of a leader in the field. they are still doing studies on the procedure and its results, which i am now a part of. the cardiologist insisted that he be present for the procedure today, and he was... along with two other doctors, a technician, a nurse, and possibly a couple of other people that i couldn't see because i was inside a huge tube.

so, yeah. the huge tube. it's like you've seen on TV (and like the photo i've included above, from karachidigest.com). you lay down, they push you inside, and they put headphones on you so that the whirring and whooshing and thumping noises that the crazyass giant magnet machine makes don't make you deaf. i expected all of that. what i didn't know was exactly how long it takes to get images of all of the valves of one's heart (since he couldn't isolate which ones might be problematic) and also that i would have an IV that would be shooting contrast dye into my system so that they could see better. oh, i also didn't realize it would be about 40 degrees in the room while i laid there in just a hospital gown for TWO HOURS.

the technician could have been the brother of Top Chef's Mike Isabella. seriously, his voice was identical. and he was a big italian guy from brooklyn who laughed way too loud at his own jokes and bragged about his skills. ("i've been here since the place opened. i know the deal here. these residents... we get a new crop every year." rolls eyes) this was all very comforting to me somehow. he gave me the rundown of the procedure beforehand, and it was he who looked close enough at my file to realize, "oh... 'evaluate ALL valves!' oh, this'll be a long one." i was happy for the heads-up, but he still told me the "long" side was an hour and a half. this was not true.

in the beginning it wasn't that bad. the nurse put the IV in my arm and then they stuck me into the tube. the room had a huge skylight and the tube was open at both the top and bottom, so it wasn't dark and it wasn't too terribly cramped in there. the doctor gave me directions in the headphones: "take a deep breath," "hold your breath," "breathe normally," etc. in between commands i was dozing off... it was such a nice quiet little cave. while i was still comfortable.

then i started losing track of time. it's hard to keep on top of that sort of thing when you're staring at nothing and mindlessly following doctor's orders in between little naps. but eventually i started to get really cold, which eliminated the possibility of napping. i was SO cold that i was shaking, which isn't okay when you're having an MRI. you have to stay super still. staying still was also problematic because i starting losing feeling in my limbs. that began with my right arm, the arm with the IV in it. they warned me when they were injecting the dye through the IV and said my arm would probably feel cold. in fact, i could feel the liquid going into my veins (or at least i imagined i could) and my whole arm started tingling. and yes, got cold. very cold. anyway, by the end i was getting delirious, trying not to cry, and was convinced i'd never be able to move my limbs again. eventually they pulled me out, and i saw the smiling face of a lovely russian nurse who helped me sit up and took out the IV. then she gave me some advice:

nurse: you should drink lots of water to flush out the dye.
me: ok.
nurse: or whatever you like to drink.
me: ok. how long does it take?
nurse: it take 48 hours. just drink a lot. but you drink too much, you'll spit it up. (a pause.) but that's ok, too. just flush it out.

comforting advice.

the doctors and technician -- the many voices i had heard in the background over the headphones -- were gone... they'd all disappeared into an adjacent screening room where they were poring over the many photos of my heart. the nurse said the results would be ready in 3-5 days. i'm not sure what to think about the fact that i had a marathon session, even longer than the longest estimate Top Technician All-Star given me. maybe they found something weird. or maybe they didn't find anything, so they kept taking more pictures to try to find something. who knows.

i felt super light-headed and a bit woozy for awhile afterwards, but i walked home slowly and picked up a smoothie on the way. this was followed by several glasses of wine with dinner, to continue the flushing process. and i feel fine now.

next week i have a pre-surgery appointment for bloodwork and whatnot. and, assuming all is normal, that's the last hurdle before the surgery. i can't wait for it to be over. i have spent far too much time in a hospital these past couple of months.