31 weeks & a 3D ultrasound!

ok, ok, i know it's not super easy to make out, but this is the baby's face! i had my first 3D ultrasound today and it was so cool. on the screen i could see him in color and so much more clearly than the regular ultrasound. the still shots never look as good as the view on the screen, and i realize out of context it's tough to even figure out what you're looking at... but this is a close-up of his face, mostly looking straight at the camera. the side of his head (his left side) is mushed up against me, so that's hard to see, but you can catch a glimpse of his right eye, nose, and mouth. it was so cool to see what he actually sort of looks like, even though he wasn't super cooperative with the ultrasound tech... as always. i hope i'll get to have another one of those. technology is the bomb.

we also got a decent shot of all of him, profile view with his head on the right:

he's measuring at the 71st percentile now and weighs 4 lbs, which puts him probably around 17 inches long! a big boy! everything looks great, though. he's head down and everything seems to be just fine. his heart is nice and strong, showing no effects of the medicine i was taking. the umbilical cord has been sort of draped near his neck for awhile so they were monitoring that, but as of today it was totally out of the way. one less thing to worry about.

as for my maternity issues, things are the same... which is good. about the best we can hope for, anyway. my cervical measurement was between 2.4 and 2.6 cm today, which is essentially the same as it's been for weeks now. the doctor said he's not all that concerned about it at this point... the further along i get the more "normal" this measurement is. he said i still need to stay on bed rest, mostly because of the size of the baby, but he doesn't see any reason to be concerned at this point. chances are we'll make it past any danger zone. i go back next week and we'll see how it looks in terms of me going back to work.

by friday evening, for reasons unknown, my back pain went completely away. i was expecting it to abate when i took the super medicine over the weekend, but instead it happened before i even took my first dose. i took my last dose on sunday at midnight and now, three days later, it still hasn't started up again. fingers crossed that this terrible side effect has passed at least for awhile, because a new one has cropped up in its place: insomnia. man alive, it's awful. last night i finally got a whopping 8 hours, which was blissful, because the three nights prior i was averaging about 3 hours. it's especially frustrating because i can't find any reason for my sleeplessness, other than being pregnant, which i guess is enough. i read that almost 80% of pregnant women experience sleep issues in the third trimester. it's so unfair. but i'm holding out hope that i can at least pull a repeat of last night tonight and get back on normal footing. for now. i'm just thankful for the ability to nap right now... going back to work will be pretty challenging if this keeps up.

my parents were here for a few days to help out and it was such a blessing. my dad did all kinds of odd jobs around the house that have needed to get done for months/years, and my mom helped me completely finish the baby's room. all of the gifts we've gotten are organized and put away, all the new clothing and accessories are washed and in the dresser, and the room is decorated and totally ready for baby, whenever he arrives. that puts my mind at ease. now i can focus on the projects that i am able to do from a reclined position: school prep, pediatrician and daycare research, and hopefully getting some good rest and relaxation in before the craziness of this fall is upon us. i am getting really excited.

quick update from my cervix...

went to the doctor today and things are looking good! my cervical measurement was between 2.6 and 2.7 today, which basically means it's holding steady but i like that the numbers are a little higher than last week's 2.4. they checked out all the baby's vitals, especially his heart since that's the danger with the one medication (indomethacin), but everything looks great. so the doc said i should stick to the same regimen for another week. this weekend is the last time i will take the indomethacin, as it's really not safe for baby after 32 weeks. i go back next wednesday and we'll see how things are going then. he also said i can go to physical therapy for my back if i feel like i need to, so i'm going to give the place my OB recommended a call and see what their hours are like. all good news here, and even more so that i'm now sitting in a cafe drinking a decaf latte while i wait for an early dinner with the hubby before our childbirth class. it made more sense than going home and having to get back to this part of the neighborhood later today, AND it's a super big treat for me. yippee. :)

30 Weeks! (1wk, 5 days of bed rest)

30 weeks feels like a huge milestone. Even though October still feels far away, 10 more weeks of pregnancy (give or take) certainly doesn't. I feel the baby swimming around in there all day long -- what once felt like a little fish is now most definitely a sea monster -- and I realize that soon he'll be here. Though hopefully not TOO soon.

Going on two weeks of bed rest and I'm still not miserable. Being allowed to move around a little bit really helps... I just hope we don't go back to the doctor on Wednesday to find out there's been a drastic change and get converted back to strict bed rest. I haven't been taking advantage of my modified status, i don't think. I try only to leave the house every other day, and I haven't gone far other than my doctor appointments, for which I've been supplementing bus travel with a car service at least one way (uphill. My neighborhood is one big, well, slope). I have plenty to keep me busy, and I've thankfully had a lot of friends visiting. It also seems that the hubby's crazed work load is dropping, as is typical for august, and it's a whole lot nicer being home with him than sitting here by myself.

My back pain has been the biggest complaint. I have learned through two controlled studies that it's the superdrug, Indomethacin, that I take in small doses as an anti-labor precaution that nearly eliminates the pain. It happened when I first started the meds, but then the back pain came back with a vengeance when i cycled off of that one. Now I'm taking it just on weekends, and man, did my back feel awesome this weekend! But I took my last dose at midnight so I'm expecting that reprieve will end soon. Moving around a bit does help, so if I keep that up as much as I can, along with periodic use of a heating pad, hopefully I can ward off the excruciating times. I am pretty sure it's sciatic nerve pain, which happens with pregnant women and will likely go away as soon as the baby comes. My regular OB gave me a referral for physical therapy that i'm going to run by the high risk doc. It's fairly close to home (four blocks away) so it should be doable.

All in all, if we're looking at three - MAYBE four - more weeks of this and then everything is a-ok (other than being 8/9 months pregnant and huge and uncomfortable) I think I will make it through unscathed. I know it will all be worth it. Holding steady.

bed rest, continued

after a week of strict bed rest, i went back to the doctor today and my cervix length is stable. she measured it three times and got a range of 2.4 - 2.6, which is considered the same as the 2.5 they got last week. not the best news we could have hoped for (that the one medication, indomethacin, was able to rebuild it), but definitely good news that it's not continuing to shorten.

the other good news, in my opinion, was the the doctor was pretty relaxed and confident about things moving forward, and that he gave me a long-term plan. even though i know if something changes drastically that this "plan" will be scrapped, i feel SO much better being able to think more long-term. the week-by-week "see what happens" scenario is not comfortable for me at all. but the doctor said we are really only concerned about the next 4-5 weeks. after i'm 33 or 34 weeks along he's comfortable letting me resume my normal activity and if the baby comes early, so be it. he said there's a possibility that i'll still carry to full-term, but at least by 34 weeks if the baby shows up there won't be any major concerns. especially since the baby is currently measuring at the 67th percentile (3lb, 5oz), and any increased size/development is helpful if he does decide to arrive prematurely.

so until that time, i need to stay on the procardia twice a day as i have been, and build in small doses of the indomethacin (just on weekends, for now) since there are possible dangers to the baby if you take that medication for more than small amounts of time. i also need to stay on a somewhat modified model of bed rest. he said i should still lay down as much as possible, for most of the day. but i can get up and do some small things around the house, and i can even go out to eat or something close to home as long as i don't do a lot of walking. i'll go back every week to make sure things are holding stable.

the week that i'm supposed to go back to work will be week 33 for me. he said there's a chance i'll be able to work that week, or at least part of the week. worst case is i miss that first week and then i can go back when i'm at 34 weeks. again, not ideal, but not a bad situation at all when i was imagining not being able to go back at all until the spring.

this is really ok with me. obviously i'd rather be doing fun summer things and accomplishing all of the things around the house that need to be done before the baby arrives. but at least now i know that's just not going to happen. no more waiting to see and feeling like i'm twiddling my thumbs. now i can plan for what needs to be done, get help where needed, and get over the disappointment that i won't be able to really live it up in these last weeks before parenthood begins. i'm thankful that i did have some fun this summer while i could! i traveled, i went to a concert, i saw some movies, went to some cookouts. now i have this baby to look forward to, and i really am very excited for that part of life to begin.

in less good news, my back pain has returned. i think the indomethacin helped it to feel better, but i can't take it all the time so i guess i may just have to deal with it. i described it to the doctor and he agreed with my internet-researched assumption that it's sciatic nerve pain, which isn't a concern in terms of being a labor symptom. it's almost definitely related to the pregnancy; often in the third trimester the baby's weight can cause this nerve in your lower back to become pinched or squeezed. but it's not a danger... just an annoyance. sometimes it's just awful, other times it's manageable. there doesn't seem to be any pattern or anything i can do about it. i'm hoping being able to move around a little bit more will help me be able to stretch it out a bit. but if that's the worst i have to worry about right now, i'll take it.

my parents are coming down in a week or so to lend a hand with the baby prep and also to bring some gifts that they've collected since my postponed baby shower and just keep me company. it is going to be such a huge help. and i have so many wonderful friends that have already started (and i know will continue) to visit, call, offer help, and cheer me up in general. it's not the way i imagined my pregnancy, but so far the only sure thing about this entire process is that nothing at all has happened the way that i imagined it would. but it's almost over, and even my crazy paranoid high risk doctor says there's nothing to worry about. it's all going to be fine.

bed rest, day 3

i'm actually not bored yet.

the truth is that i have a million things that i can do while sitting on my butt in front of a computer. my summer prep for the new school year alone could keep me busy for the entire week (not that i've devoted much time to that yet... but i think i will). it sucks to know that my entire family is currently together in my hometown getting ready for my cousin's wedding today, and that my carefully planned and totally surprise baby shower scheduled for sunday has been indefinitely postponed. but i have no doubt that i made the right choice, and being here relaxing really isn't all that bad.

yet.

i've been most surprised/pleased by the change in how i feel. for the three or four days before i went to the doctor this week i had been plagued by what i just assumed was third trimester discomfort. my body ached all over and every time i had to get up or even change position i felt like i was doing some kind of olympic-level exercise. but worst of all was my back. out of nowhere over the weekend i started having excruciating lower back pain, like i've never felt before. i didn't think twice about it at the time (seemed like fairly normal pregnancy stuff to me), but within hours of starting the medications it went away... completely.

it's hard to say how much the bed rest contributed, but i do know that before the past couple of days sitting down and especially laying back was the absolutely least comfortable thing i could possibly do. i was doing it quite a bit anyway, because my back hurt so much that moving around was painful, too, and after being active during the day all i wanted to do was NOT MOVE in the afternoon/evening. i told the hubby that bed rest might kill me mostly because the position the doctor most wanted me to be in (reclined with my legs up on the couch) was like hell on earth for me. the past few days i'd mostly been sitting straight up in a chair for support, or laying on my side. not that it helped that much.

but i kid you not, by wednesday night (having taken only one dose of one medication) the pain was starting to subside. by yesterday morning it was totally, 100% gone. all my aches, all the back pain... gone. yes, i was also on bed rest during that time, but i don't think my downtime from 3pm until noon the following day was all that different than what it had been in previous days. i really think the medication is what brought the relief, which makes me wonder... is it just because of its anti-inflammatory properties? or could my pain have actually been pre-labor symptoms? it's possible, from what i've read. while some back pain is normal during pregnancy, it seems that sudden and severe back pain that doesn't go away no matter what can be a more serious concern.

either way, i'm clearly thrilled to be feeling better. i can (though, of course, i'm not allowed to) move around like i was a couple weeks ago, feeling mostly like myself instead of a gigantic, unwieldy ball of pain. i'm hoping that perhaps this means that my cervix has been responding to true labor symptoms in my body that the medication was able to stop, thus allowing me to go about my life while staying on the meds for the next couple of months. that would be quite lovely. nothing to do but wait and see what the doctor says on wednesday. until then... maybe it's nap time.

bed rest.

oh, crap.

i went back today to have them check my cervix again prior to going out of town tomorrow. i was so nervous the past two visits but after it had held steady at 3.2cm for two weeks i pretty much stopped worrying and assumed everything was fine. well, you know what happens when we assume.

suddenly today my cervix is only measuring 2.5cm. yes, that's a decrease of almost an entire centimeter in just over one week. the doctor was alarmed. i suppose i have been more active the past week or so than i was prior to that, but i'm still not doing anything crazy. i've done a lot of walking, gone to prenatal yoga and pilates, went to the movies and out to dinner, done some stuff around the house. but no heavy lifting, no strenuous exercise. it's so frustrating.

he told me i absolutely could not travel, and then when i started to cry told me that the only way he could possibly consider it okay would be if i laid flat on my back for the entire car ride there and back (the jostling and bumping of the car is very bad for pressure on the cervix) and, while at my parents' house, i remained on the couch or in bed at all times. he went over the details of me going into labor and having the baby super early in a city so far from home, with doctors that don't know my situation, and then having the baby hooked up to machines for months and us unable to come home. i know he was being dramatic and giving me the worst case scenario, but it was enough to convince me that it was not worth the risk to travel right now.

so for the next week it's complete bed rest, plus i'm starting two medications. one i'll stay on for the rest of the pregnancy: procardia, which prevents further shortening and other labor symptoms. the other one is indomethacin, and i'm only taking it for four days. that one is apparently the same kind of medication, but it seems to be stronger and can actually help to rebuild the cervix, so there's a chance it might get thicker and more stable again. this medication may also give us information about why the cervix in shortening in the first place: studies have shown that if it does restore the cervix to normal after a week of use this generally means the woman was experiencing preterm labor which led to the shortening. but if, after a week on the medication, the cervix doesn't change this means that the cervical tissue is simply weak. if this is the case, the cerclage (cervical stitch) surgery is usually done, but i think that i am too far along in my pregnancy for that procedure now. so... i'm guessing for me that would just mean more bed rest.

i go back a week from today. in the meantime, instead of embarking on an exciting vacation to see all my family and close friends, i will be sitting on my butt on the couch. i am so bummed about this. but i'm hoping beyond hope that this week will take care of the problem and i'll at least be able to resume some activity. but even if it's bed rest 'til the end, i know the most important thing is taking care of this baby. as excited as i am for him to get here, i don't want it to happen before it's time. the doctor said 34 weeks is the absolute earlier that it's even remotely okay for him to arrive, and even that (still 5 1/2 weeks from now!) would obviously be early. so i will do what i need to do, and hope that the hubby is available and amenable to waiting on me hand and foot for the next week. i guess that part could be kinda fun.

27 Weeks!

i feel like i've been living at the doctor's office lately, but at least it's all been good news. i went to the regular OB the friday after i was put on modified bedrest, where they were surprisingly unconcerned about my shrinking cervix. the doc admitted that yes, if it continued to shorten it would be problematic... but she did not seem at all concerned about it at 3.3cm. of course, i've yet to see anyone in that office concerned about anything. it's the polar opposite of the high-risk doc's office.

but i continued my mostly bedrest status until i returned to the high risk doc the following wednesday. they measured my cervix again and said it was "stable," though by the numbers it actually measured 1mm shorter than the previous week. i guess that small of a difference isn't notable. the doctor told me to resume my "regular activities" (though he still seemed pleased that i'm not currently working) until i came back today. so i did my normal thing for a few days... certainly not anything strenuous, but walking and yoga and going out to dinner and whatnot. it was really, really nice after being stuck on the couch for a week.

i went back to the doctor today and once again my cervix measured 3.2cm, just like last week. they seemed relatively confident that it would remain stable, but as a precaution i'm going back next week before i go out of town. they want to make absolutely certain that there's no need to put me on medication to prevent any further shortening. i am actually glad to have the additional appointment next week. i have been slightly paranoid about this and don't want to embark on my trip worried every second that something is wrong.

the more i reflect on this, the more i realize i could never have another "normal" pregnancy after this one, even if i wanted to. i am far too accustomed to this completely over-the-top monitoring, and it suits my type-A personality far too well.

anyway, other than the cervix stuff everything is great. the baby is still super active, and he's turned himself over again which i find significantly more comfortable than when his head was by my belly button and his feet were in my bladder. now he's head down so he's constantly kicking the top of my uterus, which isn't all that annoying. of course he'll probably shift again... he moves around like crazy.

today they estimated that he weighs 2 pounds, 4 ounces, which is the 57th percentile for size. i'm glad he's on the bigger side in case he does end up having to arrive early, but i hope he doesn't decide to supersize himself. i am not in favor of birthing a baby the size i was as a newborn (9 1/2 pounds).

i'm definitely feeling pretty huge, but i assume that's normal at this point. it's freakin' hot out and my hands and feet are having some swelling issues. feet especially. they throb. but my hands are on and off bad enough that i've given up on wearing my wedding ring -- i have it on a necklace around my neck. i'm still sleeping well, and a lot, though sometimes getting comfortable to fall asleep is tricky. overall, though, i feel mostly like myself. just a bigger and slower version. i assume that i passed my glucose screening, because they said they'd call if i didn't and it's been a week and a half and they haven't called.

the baby's room is starting to come together and we're amassing clothes and gear from various sources. my first shower is next weekend so we expect to be up to our ears by then. and in three months he'll (hopefully) be here! it feels like a long time to wait but i have no doubt it's going to fly by.